Friday, December 31, 2010

Buckeye Man! Mwah ha ha...

A little clay buckeye man with a smile and metal arms and legs has joined the ranks of Things Watching Me As I Blog on top of the computer desk. I think it's making friends/allies with the stone dinosaur of yellow-eyed fame (or infamy...) and the bluebird that sparkles deceptively whose wing I accidentally broke when I jostled the computer and it fell (apparently it hasn't learned how to detach its wings from its body for use in flying yet).

The buckeye's smile is probably hiding an eeeevil plan.

I'll try not to let it bother me.

So, today's Words are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics. Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "Hi, this is Christine Keiro."
Person 2: "Mrr."
Person 1: "And this is my llama." Um. Okaaaay...

"THE HORSE IS SNIFFING ME!" Thank you for sharing.

"Caroline, there's a bunch of hoopla." Exciting this...really isn't.

"When I'm a fairy, my name is Lemon Drop, and I turn things yellow when I touch them." Epic.

"Can we, like, have a pillow out of your hair?" If you insist. I'm not sure how fluffy it'll be but...feel free! Oh, and it'll cost you a billion pennies and twenty thousand nickels. Exact change. Thanks, come again! :D

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Negative Yellow

Green + Orange - Purple - (3(Yellow)) = -Yellow

Right? Right. (You can break it into primary colors if you're so inclined; it makes more sense that way. :D)

Guess what? It's National French Toast Day!

Mmm...delicious.

Anyway. Today's WFTH are from the Fairly Mean category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I just killed a guy. You're gonna go to bed thinking about how I just killed a guy." And that's always something you wanna hear in the middle of science class. Plus, I wasn't going to go to bed thinking about that until you said that so...thanks!

"Because you look like you're gonna die." Not to be mean or anything. This was a teacher, by the way.

"Two hearts are feasting on Grandpa." Cannibals! ...Maybe they're Christmas cannibals. I'm told those are the best kind. Though they don't strike me as particularly great...
"T.J.'s like, 'What? I just woke up from a sleep that lasted for the last eleven years...'" Nice. Also a teacher speaking. I love these honest assessments...

Monday, December 27, 2010

Lalalala!!!

Waaaaay...down among Brazilians coffee beans grow by the billions so they've got to find some extra cups to fill....oh, hi. Sorry. I was singing this totally awesome and/or random song that was in a piano book at my house. No idea.
Yooooooo can't get cherry soda 'cause they've got to fill their quota and the way things are I guess they never wiiiiiiill, they've got an awful lot of coffee in Braziiiiiiiiil!
Thank you. Can you tell I've been practicing? ;)

Ooooooon a somewhat less musical note (though I may or may not still be singing, hmm...), today's Words are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"[singing] Hello? Water?" Goodbye water, helloooo apple juice!


Person 1: "Give me my finger."
Person 2: "I don't know where it's at." Fairly easy to lose, I know from experience...check the lost and found!

"We foreclosed your bookbag." Not again!

"Don't kill the air!" Or the air may have to kill you right back! So there!! ...No idea.


"[singing] I love sweaters!" Thaaaaank you for shaaaaaaaaring!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

The Essay of Doom

So...we had to take an essay. An in-class essay (not this week or anything...this was a while ago, but it still gives me nightmares. Kinda.)

Taking an in-class essay is bad enough. The time limit, the clock behind your head so you can't actually see how much time you have left without the extreme effort of craning your neck and trying not to look like you're checking out anyone else in the room because you're actually just looking at the clock, the stress of forgetting until halfway through the essay that you're only allowed to use black ink (panic!), the AP-test-level question, having to analyze a poem you've never seen before in your life...the list goes on. But my class...always takes them when we have a sub. Like, pretty much unfailingly always. I can't even remember taking one in-class essay when the teacher was there. So you can't ask the teacher for help (not that you would anyway, he'd probably take points off or something equally sinister, maybe just point and laugh (joking (kinda))).

So I'm sitting there, trying to analyze a Keats poem. It was pretty. But really, some poems don't need to be analyzed. Some should just be left in their native environments, free to skip about merrily and bring joy or meaning to people's lives. (The ones I would love to just leave alone are mainly the ones that I have to write about. No correlation whatsoever, I'm sure...) This analysis is made somewhat difficult by the fact that, halfway through the essay, there is this snapping noise. A snipping, almost. Sharp, familiar...I realize what it is. The subsitute is clipping his fingernails. A great pastime, I myself have clipped my fingernails many times and always found it enjoyable...but NOT during a timed ESSAY! What the heck? I shake my head, trying to focus. Diction, syntax, literary elements, specific examples, blah blah blah...then another sound comes into play.

The walls at my school vary in material. Some are made out of plaster or whatever most walls are made out of. Those are the ones you can't put posters on or you'll get eaten or given detention or some dire consequence, who knows. Just don't do it. Some are made out of brick and stuff. And some are...metal. Metal's cool. It's sturdy, you can hang magnetic poetry on the walls (I myself have created a fairly-nonsensical-due-to-lack-of-available-words haiku or two in my English room; for a while the magnetic poetry was directly behind my desk), it's...metallic...and easily painted that color of all colors...beige. But most of all? Metal walls are THIN! Sometimes you can hear through them! Normally this is not a problem...but we were completely silent, except for the scribbling of pens and the scratching-out of paragraphs (mostly me)...and we're right next door to the Health room...the teacher of which was giving a very loud lecture on STDs.

This did not go well with the essay. At all.

Most of the room, once they realize what the other room is discussing (we've all had that class--it's pretty hard to forget), bursts into extremely-quiet-and-trying-to-suppress-altogether-because-we're-running-out-of-time giggles, then refocuses on their page. Which gets harder to do, focus I mean, as the lecture continues, ebbing and returning to full volume. Finally (we hope) it stops altogether...until the acting-stuff-out part comes. You can tell it's that portion because the male teacher is (for some, unknown reason) pretending to sob like a girl. Who the heck knows.

I got a 6.5 out of 9 on that essay. Somehow, I feel it might be easier if we just took essays in a locked room...with thick walls...without any teachers nearby. But, then, where's the motivation to take the essay at all? More importantly...does it matter?

But...I digress. Or rather, I never actually started on WFTH to digress from them. My apologies.

Today's WFTH are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics. Enjoy! :D

"So it's a pretty good probability, if you take a black-haired person, that they will have brown hair." If by 'pretty good' you mean 'zero.' I hate to say it, folks...but this was a math teacher.

"No quieting! I mean no talking!" I was! I mean, I wasn't!


Person 1: "My brother cheered for OSU. I had nachos at the game!"
Person 2: "I'm sure those are related."
Person 1: "Well, I'm related to my brother." Um. Wow.

"Songs are in quotation points." And this is an excitement mark! ! ! ! Actually, four of them. At least, that's what I learned in kindergarten. Also, that White-Out was known as 'boo-boo tape.' This appears to be a teacher of similar teaching styles...or something.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Bonus Saturday!

Happy Bonus Saturday as well! Here are some random quotes...and some pictures to celebrate Squidsmas. Have a safe weekend, everybody. :D

"I just know that I'd be one of those people who, if they got shot in the hand, would start screaming like crazy."

"And he's, like, 'Now I see black dots. Now my arms are tingling. Now my legs are flailing randomly.' and I'm, like, 'Yeah. We noticed.'"

Person 1: [removes pencil from hair]
Person 2: "Yeah, can I have that back?"
Person 1: "Why did you put a pencil in my head?"
Person 2: "I thought it might cheer you up."
Person 1: "What logic is that? 'Here, let me stick a sharp object near your brain,' no, that doesn't work for Morgan!"
Person 2: "It works for Colleen..."
Person 3: "Colleen loves getting her brain stabbed."

Peace,

Eve S. D'ropper







Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas!! For all those who don't celebrate Christmas, Happy Whatever Holiday You Celebrate! Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Dwali, Ramadaan, Three Kings' Day, New Year's Day, Wren Day (tomorrow in Ireland and a few other places), Boxing Day (also tomorrow, mostly in Britain), and anything else I've missed (which I'm sure is a ton. Feel free to tell me in the comments any you can think of! :D) Oh, and Squidsmas, of course. ;)

If you want to make someone else's life a little bit better in this Christmas season, feel free to continue voting for Shoes 4 The Shoeless and the many, many other great ideas out there...I'd explain it here for any who might have missed it, but you can just scroll down four posts to the "Christmas Squids, Shoes, and Duct Tape" post. Soon after that was posted, they rose from 5th place in their category to 4th place, so a hearty Thank You to anyone who voted, and who is continuing to vote, making others' lives better!
(Get it? A heart-y thank you? Haha...ha...okay, apparently I'm the only one laughing. So.)

Thank you, my loyal readers, followers, commenters, and those who are all of the above. You rock, and you always make my day brighter. Hope yours is brighter too, and that your winter is fantabulous!

Okay, that's enough of that stuff. On to the WFTH. Today's Words are Christmas-themed...there are a surprisingly small amount of those, but...whatevs. My comments, as always, are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Ow! Teacher! Nick poked me in the eye with a candy cane!" And here you were thinking Christmas couldn't be violent. Well, you were wrong.

"Oh, it's only a Christmas cannibal, don't worry, move along." This was my cousin. I've really no idea how this applies to...anything...but whatevs.

Person 1: "Yeah, we're going to have a mysterious visitor who is very mysterious and nobody could know who it is and it's somebody from Narnia."
Person 2: "It's Father Christmas!" Lame. He's at, like, every department store. Bring on the unique--have Aslan be the guest visitor instead!

"Aah! Rudolph got stabbed in the head! And now he's dead!" The Christmas That Permanently Emotionally Scarred Several Children For Life...best movie ever.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Falalalala...

This is a quick blog post STOP And it is pretending to be a telegram STOP As you might have noticed STOP Guess what STOP I got a chocolate version of Monopoly STOP Isn't that so freaking exciting STOP

Stop that STOP That's annoying STOP I mean it, cut it out!

That's better.

But seriously. Chocolate Monopoly...I may or may not have eaten 25-50% of the railroads already...that's going to make it harder to play...Lemme go check.

Okay, I'm back. Actually I ate all of them except Short Line. So nobody's really going anywhere in Monopoly-world today, unless they're over by the GO area, and at that point, why do you need to be traveling? (Though Broadway and Park Place might be out of commission as well, so there are fewer and fewer places to visit.)
Anyway. Today's WFTH are from the Fairly Mean category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I will be mad at you forever from the bottom of my heart." I kinda thought emotions from the heart were less hate-inclined...clearly, I was wrong.

"That was, like, you and your friend are walking through a mall, then a bear shows up, rips your friend's face off, and walks away." You're right, it was just like that. I think.

"[gasp] You're joining the dark side? Are you going to start drinking blood and eating in Ms. Luker's room?" 'Even worse...I'm eating with the principal!' 'Noooo!'

"Eye, stab you in the eye!" Why? I cry, for the hole in my eye. Hey, I'm a poet and I didn't know it.

"No dying in band!" After band, sure. But during band...there's simply too much paperwork. Just stave off 'till the bell rings.

"The one thing you must do when you look at other people's art, and they're trying really hard, is you giggle behind their back." All I need to know I learned from my teacher...who gave me this pearl of wisdom. Love it!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Wow. It's a very octopus-ish holiday this year. I saw two cephalopod-shaped ornaments yesterday in the same room, brought by two different people...this amuses me greatly.

So...you know the deal! Today's WFTH are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"Don't you dare ish before the ish!" Oh. My bad. ....(ish)

"Spleens are the funniest body part." Duh.


"You just spilled all the air! Look, it's everywhere!" Um. Well, for one thing, sorry about the spill, but you can't really tell, can you? I mean, it just blends in...it looks like it's already clearing up, you can't even see it!

"Y'all, please stop petting me." If you insist.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Mmm...pancakes...

Hola, hola, hola! Dontcha love when people make Christmas cookies for a party...and then mess up on, like, half of them...and put the messed-up ones out for anyone (mostly me) to devour? Thought so. Me too. ;)

Today's WFTH are from the Food-Related category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "What about bananas swimming?"
Person 2: "They don't, that's what about them!" Not usually...

"Oops, I spilled my spicy milk." Well that sounds just delicious. NOT.

"I've been pizza-ed!" And here I didn't think you could make 'pizza' into a verb but I've clearly been proven wrong.

"Just make, like, a chicken leg." Oh, yeah? You're a chicken...leg...wait...that wasn't actually an insult to start with. Disregard! :D

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christmas Squids, Shoes, and Duct Tape

Hello, all! 'Tis Tuesday, a very good day when one doesn't have anything in particular to do. Guess what? I made a squid out of clay. It's exciting. And it's wearing an elf hat and a bemused expression. For Squidsmas Christmas, of course! :D

Oh, guess what else? Someone I know is applying for a grant to provide shoes to those without through the Pepsi-Refresh Everything program, and right now they're in fifth place for their category, and there are only 11 days left to vote...it's really easy to help out those in need, through this and other grants on the website; their Shoes 4 The Shoeless link is here http://pep.si/heZj5S and the website overall is here http://www.refresheverything.com/, so please feel free to visit these, you can vote to support ten grant ideas daily either by clicking a button that says "Vote" or, for this particular one, by texting 104665 to PEPSI (73774). Then, you can relax and know that you've helped someone in need. :) Thanks so much!

Okay, now I'm done with proponing (is this the right word?) things for the day (hopefully for a while), so now on to the Words from the Hallway! Today's are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"You know what. I really cannot remember why I was screaming." Clearly it wasn't too terribly traumatic then.

"I'm allergic to flash photography." Say cheese achoo!!

Person 1: "Can we duct-tape you to a wall for non-preachy reasons?"
Person 2: "OK." ...duct tape...part of a nutritious, healthy breakfast...or something....

"Ryan, don't tell me you don't suck on toothpaste!" Well, I won't tell you but...


Teacher: "Any questions?"
Student: "Could you swim in pudding?" I'm pretty sure she meant 'Any questions related to electrons?' but, ya know, whatever...

"If they want to jump into a stolen car and drive themselves to Charleston, South Carolina, without a license, I can't stop them. Even if they're really supposed to be getting on a plane to New York. Even if the whole plot depends on them getting on that plane to New York. If they don't want to get on, there's nothing I can do about it." I really hope we're talking about fictional characters, here.

"Am I stupid or are you just joking?" Do I have to pick just one?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Oatmeal Muffin Day. Rather Anticlimactic.

Or something. I mean, really? Oatmeal muffin day? You can have oatmeal muffins any day! Instead of a lame picture of an oatmeal muffin, I would like to post the following picture that came up when "oatmeal muffin" was googled.
Ohmigosh. It's a double rainbow muffin! ...or something.

Um. Anyway.

Today's WFTH are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

Person 1: "Don't eat it! You can't eat it!"
Person 2: "Why not?"
Person 1: "'Cause it's, like, metal!"
Person 2: "It's candy, though!" Mmm. Metal candy...with the same great oxidizing taste!

"Hey, that rhymes! 'Together,' 'special'...oh wait, no it doesn't." No. It really doesn't. But thanks for sharing!

Person 1: "[announces answer]"
Teacher: "Nope."
Person 1 [to Person 2]: "You're dumb!"
Person 2: "Well, you're the one copying me!" Wow. Just...wow.

"Needles are usually pointy." Oh! I was wondering why it was so painful to touch the end.

"It's noon again!" Yeah...that happens pretty much every day...

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Send-it-in Sunday!

Ah, 'tis Send-it-in Sunday, once again! Please feel free to post any WFTH you may have heard in the comments! :) Also, have a fantabulous week! :D

So, today's Words are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"They had people fighting, with muskets, in their underwear!" And why they had muskets in their underwear, we will never know. Most people at least used pockets, but...whatevs.

"Well, after Leo unleashed about six plot bunnies to gnaw at my brain, he is being less reclusive." Well that's good. I think. Not entirely sure on that point.

"You yourself said you stalked the dude in the cave!" Good point. I almost forgot.

"Shut it, you'll hurt her feelings. And when she gets mad, let's just say she grows wings. Flaming wings." Yes, let us just say that.

"I have so many cows." Is that a complaint, or just a statement of fact?

Saturday, December 18, 2010

So...

So, besides it being Wear A Plunger On Your Head Day, it is also...Bonus Saturday! Which means there are two posts for today! Par-tay! :D Here, let us find a cool picture...

Ta-da! Alrighty then...today's quotes are from the Fairly Mean category! My comments, as always, are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"You should have jumped off that bridge. Until you die." Um, while I appreciate the advice...well, actually, I don't appreciate the advice.

"[reproachful] Colin! Why are you stabbing my throat with a pencil?" It appears that this occurs more frequently than you'd think.

"Just pretend that you're dead." If you insist.

"Some people might say you need to go to a mental hospital. I am one of those people." Aw. And here I thought you didn't care about me at all.

Weird...

So...today is Wear a Plunger On Your Head Day....not sure what to do with that...because I'm sure not going to celebrate...but, ya know, feel free. :)

Weird...well, anyway. Today's Words are from the Food-Related category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"I'm taking another left turn here, on milk." Feel free. And feel free to leave me out of it.

Person 1: "So, he's a drunk blind construction worker?"
Person 2: "Who makes cakes?" Exactly.


"Maybe they like to drink orange juice out of sippy cups!" Um...what subject is this, exactly? I was thinking it was history but...now I'm not so sure...probably math. That makes the most sense.

"Poison girl waffles!" Oh! I'm so offended! As both a waffle and a poison! ...wait...


"This is the best I've ever colored my cauliflower!" It's funny because I don't care.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Hello, all!

So...guess what? It's National Maple Syrup Day! Mmm...

The best part of this picture is the waffle part. :) Because, of course, I am part waffle. Also, it's fun to watch the syrup pile up in the little square parts. :D

But anyway. Today's WFTH are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Maybe your brain isn't exactly an egg in a frying pan." Oh! I'm so offended that you would assume this! My brain is, indeed, an egg in a frying pan...I mean...wait...

"I don't believe in sentences." So, wait, then what did you just say? Paradox!!!

Person 1 (angry): "I'm a triangle! You're a square! There's a difference!"
Person 2 (indignant): "By one side!" Um. Okay.

"Let's go find an extreme place!" Like...Montana, for instance?

"Cookies are way easier. You don't have to study for cookies." Wait...why did no one ever tell me this? Does this mean all my flash cards explaining the meaning of chocolate chips and their greater purpose in life are useless? Well that was a ginormous waste of time. And flash cards.

"Weird thread creators unite! As soon as we finish creating this thread on moose burps." ...I have no comment for this. What the heck?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Chocolate-Covered Anything Day. Epic Win!

Today is National Chocolate-Covered Anything Day. I am now off to dip some strawberries I found in chocolate, along with a few marshmallows, some pretzels, three moldy socks I found inside the printer, and some white chocolate. Please feel free to join me in this grand expedition of awesomeness!! :D

...I would like to say that, after Googling Chocolate-Covered Anything Day, I was mildly disturbed by the fact that a picture of babies popped up. But there was also this fantastic picture!


Yum. But anyway. Today's WFTH are from the Fairly Gross category. (Hardly similar to the holiday.) My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Didn't you raffle it off? His head?" Yes, but there were a surprisingly small number of participants. I haven't the faintest idea why.

"Speaking of brains collapsing..." Always a good conversation starter. Especially at parties.

"And we had it in a bin of blood so when you picked it up it just dripped blood." That lovely image came from a teacher, folks. I really don't want to know what subject that pertained to.

Person 1: "You're lucky I'm not wearing a hat that I could throw across the room."
Person 2: "You're lucky you're not wearing a face that I could rip off." Um. What? No comprendo.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

National Cat Herders Day....um, what?

So.

Yeah, I dunno either. Will an illustration help? I doubt it...
Nope. Not at all.

But on the plus side...today's WFTH are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Get off my pencil, you destructive potato!" If you insist. But not without me sticking my starch out at you.

"Relax your face, citizen!" You cannot make me!!!

"It's Runs-Around-Without-Pants Man!" Worst. Superhero. EVER. Whenever he comes around it's all, 'Is there a disaster that needs fixing?' 'No, just, please, please go away. And really? Get some better boxers, man. Glow-in-the-dark hearts are so yesteryear.'

"I think she should print some Vaseline milk!" And then give it to really bad superheroes, because, really? Who wants printed Vaseline milk? Nobody, unless it's on clearance.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

So. National Poinsettia Day! That's cool!

It's cool because I was going to go over and look at my super-secret source of cool holidays, but then I just went to Google and started typing in "December 12 is" and National Poinsettia Day automatically filled itself in, which was really handy. What's not cool is that I wanted to go get a picture of them to bring back and show you how pretty (and poisonous) they are, only they all. Looked. The same. Except for this one!!
It's a BLUE POINSETTIA. How cool is that?

It's blue-poinsettia-cool. That's what it is. Oh, and we just learned how to say poinsettia in Spanish: "la flor de Nochebuena." Which is actually, like, "the flower of goodnight," (literally), which sounds kind of threatening. Probably because the reason you're having a good night is because you aren't dreaming because you ate a poinsettia and now you're DEAD. That's why I'm kind of worried now.

But anyway. (Hope you're feeling better and less dead now! :D) (Also sorry for the poinsettia rant. Hope I didn't ruin everyone's National Poinsettia Day! Moral = don't eat poinsettias.)

So...today's WFTH are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Wake me up when you faint." Waaaait....

"I don't think anyone has square eyebrows." What, am I not anyone? Sadness.

Person 1: "Why is it with a 'y'?"
Person 2: "'Cause I feel Swedish today." Aaaand...non sequitors are like rhinocerouseseseses: they both turn blue in the mornings.

"You don't throw away a trash bag!" Actually it has been done before. But only once, and no one got it on camera. It's like Bigfoot.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

fishfishfish

So, another weird fact about fish? Some of them are 95% water. Guess which kind? Hint: it's the kind that Pearl kills in The Scarlet Letter. Sorry, should've had a spoiler alert. Here, I'll put the answer in blue so it's hard to read unless you highlight it. :)

Jellyfish!

Speaking of fish (except not at all...), here is a cool picture I found on the Intertron!


Well, not cool, so much. More like...eternally creepy. The eyes were moving before, but...guess that's not happening now. Hmm. It's still creepy, though.

But anyway.

Today's WFTH are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Somebody's eating my pants! ...I bet it's a gremlin." Nah, everyone knows gremlins eat single socks more than anything else. I'm guessing...a rogue unicorn.

"I've decided that I'm immortal." Well. Not to be pretentious or anything.

"Aah, now the magma's showing." Aah.

"He's being a milk cake." Um. Okay.

"You were doing mouth-to-mouth with a globe?" I don't even want to know.

Friday, December 10, 2010

So.

Guess what?

Know something weird? Fish. Can't. Blink. So...if anyone ever dares you, on a bet, to a staring contest with their pet fish named Farlo who looks deceptively like he might blink at any moment? Don't do it. You'll lose twenty bucks.

Not...that this has ever happened to me. Just some, ya know, helpful advice.

But anyway. Today's Words are from the Kinda Gross category! My comments are in italics--enjoy! :)


"And it takes 45 minutes to burp." That is a really freaking long burp. Lemme just say.

"Put some literary hair on your chest! ...Not that you'd want that, but." Hey! I want literary hair as much as the next person! ...Which is, ya know, not at all...

"Thanks for donating your butt." Anytime. Um, to what did I donate it, exactly?

"[supposedly propaganda] It's so important, he's barfing because it's so important!" Well I'm convinced.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Iiiit's Pastry Day!!

This is, like, dessert week, apparently. Also...no pastries were given or received by me. But that's okay, pastries aren't nearly as good as brownies. Hands down. Down so low they reach through the floor and dig into the dirt underneath the carpeting.

Speaking of...I hit my head on the concrete floor of our being-re-done living room once. This was before the carpeting. It was, really, the fault of my brother, my own stubbornness and non-understanding (especially at that age) of the laws of physics, and a very large cardboard box.

The memory is still painful...except...not at all...

Well...anyway...today's WFTH are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I've always wanted a pink test." Clearly, your life has been very deprived.

"You need to wear, like, stronger skin." Good point. Don't worry, my next skin's gonna be made out of steel and rubber cement.

"Can I have my sharks back?" Only if you promise to keep them in your desk until the end of the day, and don't take them out at recess. Especially if they're land sharks. Those things are deadly, ya know!

Person 1: "The bunny stole the clothes!"
Person 2: "It's a magic bunny!" ...there is no way to comment on this one. Though I'm sure that won't stop some of you from trying.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Happy Brownie Day!

I would just like to say that...no one gave me a brownie today.

But to be fair, I didn't give a brownie to anyone either.

Too bad. ;)

Anyway, today's Words are from the Fairly Mean category! My comments are in italics--Enjoy! :)

"I'm accidentally strangling her!" I'm accidentally punching you in the face!

"You fail with flying colors." You'd think the colors would be, like, dragging or something. Usually failing isn't...um...flying...

"I take them under my wing so they start to trust me and then I rip their little brains." Well at least you have a plan.

Person 1: "If one child gets rejected, what do you do?"
Person 2: "Sell him to the organ peddlers!"
Person 3: "[weird voice] My son has a very good liver *tsk* and he, he has very good kidneys, *tsk*, he was born with three, he's a freak, *tsk*, I'll sell him to you, the price of two, but you're gettin' three." I really, really hope this was a hypothetical situation...and that Person 3 never, ever has kids.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Hello, all!

How are ya? Good? Good. :) So guess what. I met a real. Live. Mitten Tree yesterday. Kind of. I mean, it was two people who were being mitten trees. So that's pretty much the same thing. Right?

Also I met a live snowman. He/she? seemed rather like a PG-13 Frosty-the-Snowman, as she informed me herself. "Happy frickin' birthday," she announced.

This was much less jolly than I expected.

Oh well.

But as it is no longer Mitten Tree Day, it is now a new day for the category of WFTH! Today's category is...(drumroll, please)...Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)



"I lit my hand on fire...in a good way...it was crazy fun." I can see...why that would be fun...except not at all...

Person 1: "OMG! You just killed my heart!"
Person 2: "I can go get it..."
Person 1: "That's OK." Hmm. I thought it'd be more traumatic. Or at least more dramatic. Maybe that's just me.

"It's almost there, guys, it just has to be laser-laser-laser-laser." Good point. I quite agree.

"My name does not mean sunglasses!" It just means glasses of the sun. Completely different. What were you thinking.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Mitten Tree Day!

You will not believe this.

It's Mitten Tree Day!!! I can only assume this refers to trees that grow mittens! Can you imagine autumn in such an orchard? I mean, there'd be mittens everywhere!

(Like so, for example.)

So cool, right?

...Okay, I looked up mitten trees. Apparently they are just places to hang your mittens.

This is much less exciting.

But anyway, today's WFTH are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring Category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"This is not the size of spaghetti." Spaghetti has a size? Also, what are you measuring that needs to be spaghetti-sized?

"[completely seriously] Do ducks eat mice?" This actually made me stop and think for a minute before I realized--mice are, like, half the size of ducks. I'm pretty sure a duck would die if it ate a full-grown mouse. Especially since ducks are herbivores.

"You can't beat a goldfish!" Well if you really try...

"Are you saying negative one is not a number?" I might never ever not not not not not not not not not not not not be saying that. But you'll never know.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Bathtub Party Day

No comments on this one. Nope, none whatsoever.

Except...
Who has the time to sit around and think up all these really weird and random holidays??

No idea.

Oh well!

Speaking of weird and random...today's WFTH are from the Say What? category! Oh, and today's a Send-It-In Sunday! So feel free to post any WFTH you might have heard in the comments! :)

My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"I'm not gonna eat fried frogs." Sautéed, sure, but fried? Never!

"He's not mad or a serial killer--he just has a chainsaw!" Well of course. We never assumed otherwise.

Person 1: "Could you really get stuck inside JELL-O, though?"
Person 2: "Yeah, you can, that's how you live forever." Huh. I would have thought cryogenics to be a wee bit more scientific than that, but you learn something new every day, I guess!

"Fat lady has sung. 45 years and counting." She's been singing the entire time?

Person 1: "It's a ghost eraser!"
Person 2: "Does it smell?"
Person 1: "No, it smells like candy!"
Person 2: "It's not gonna smell like a ghost!" You don't know! Ghosts often smell like candy! ...or not...

Saturday, December 4, 2010

El Sabado Extra!

...that doesn't really quite translate to Bonus Saturday, it's more like The Extra Saturday in Spanish...but that's okay.

But it's Bonus Saturday, by the way! :) Oh, also, it's Wear Brown Shoes Day! So exciting, right?
Can you even believe there's an image about that? Whatever...

So, today's Bonus post has Words from the Kinda Gross category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Now we're gonna peel their skin off with buttons." A very destressing exercise if ever I've seen one.

"Right, 'cause you could just stick it up your nose, if that's where you really wanted it." Good point. ...I'm not even going to ask what 'it' is, in this case.

"That's not a hat! It's a parasite!" I beg to differ. It's only mostly attached to my skin with fangs.

"Oh, my darling spleen." There's the beginning of an interesting Valentine...I can't even wait to see the illustration.

Oh My Goodness.

My oh my, what an absence I've had. It's been...what, three days since last I've posted? I am utterly sorry to have abandoned you, ladies and gents. But, in my defense, I was being a squirrel troubadour. With backup squirrels that (halfway successfully) performed the Charleston. I kid you not.



(This is not actually me, it was just to give you a mental image.)

But anyway, back to the Words From The Hallway! (Good thing today's a Bonus Saturday, so 'twill be a two-post day! :D)

Today's WFTH are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"[I'm pretty sure they were serious] Man, where is a kazoo when you need it?" I often wonder the same thing.

Person 1: "You can remember it like chicken. Chicken legs, chicken wings..."
Person 2: "...chicken tormentor..." Is it just me, or are you currently imagining some giant chicken walking around in a metal bodysuit, complete with flame welder? ...Okay, that might just be me. But it's a good way to remember...um...whatever needs remembering...I guess. 

"So that's why his guitar plays drums." Of course.

"She has a bellybutton in the middle of her forehead." Wouldn't that just be a foreheadbutton?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Ahh!

Ahh! NaNoWriMo is completed! We wrote 50,000 words in 30 days! And got extremely behind but extremely caught up! Laughter ensued! Tears ensued! Much want for coffee (even though no one will let me drink it; apparently it would add to my already hyped-up self to create trouble) and/or chocolate also ensued! Tragic deaths of characters ensued!

...And now it's over.
Which is both happy and sad.
Because now begins the editing process.
Which is infinitely harder.
But you can't edit a blank page, so this is a TREMENDOUSLY AWESOME way to start, and congrats to all my followers and visitors who completed their NaNo novels!!!!

And for everyone who didn't do NaNo this year...well, hope you got some sleep, unlike the rest of us, this November! :) Thanks for visiting my blog to everyone, and a special thanks to my followers! You're fantabulous!

Okay, that's enough being sappy. Let's get to the WFTH! :) Today's Words are from the Fairly Mean category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"And Corinne sent Demon and his horde of disease-ridden zombie mutants to destroy Emily." Again.

Person 1: "He's a selfish."
Person 2: "A selfish?"
Person 1: "A selfish prune." Not a selfish plum, ladies and germs, that would be far too kind. A selfish prune.

"You could lose your face!" Why are you so excited about it? You planned this, didn't you? Admit it!

"I hit him in the head and it stayed there for a moment, but it didn't knock him over!" Oh, shucks. Well, you could always send some leftover zombie mutants after him...just a thought.

Monday, November 29, 2010

There's a dinosaur on top of my computer. With glowing yellow eyes. And horns.

It's staring at me hungrily.



I do hope this isn't going to become a problem.

Well, let's just see some WFTH before it eats me. Today's Words are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics. Enjoy! :)


"Pop! My limbs fell off." Huh. You'd think it'd be a little less anticlimactic.

"Stop being a narwhal!" Stop stifling my creativityness!

"He didn't fall off a cliff. Well, he did, but he didn't die." Oh, thank you for clearing this up. I was worried.

"They have, like, built-in swords on their faces!" Par-tay.

"Kind of a permanent baby-type thing." Are we talking about a baby Sharpie, or a baby that is always in the same place, or...you really need to be more pacific.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Did you know...

...that there's such thing as a yellow emerald? I kid you not! It's like the Yellow Brick Road and the Emerald City, all rolled into one! So cool, right?

'Kay, not really. I mean, I think it's cool, but...whatever.

Anyway, today's WFTH are from the Kinda Gross category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"You smell like dead fish." Oh, that's probably my new perfume. Eau de Salmon Deado. Want to try it?

Person 1: "Want some underwear?"
Person 2: "No thanks, I'm already wearing some."
Person 3: "Is it pretty underwear?"
Person 2: "It is very pretty underwear." Thank you for sharing. And now we are...done with having show and tell. Forever.

"My ears are bleeding! Anyone else's?" No, but if mine start bleeding I'll let you know immediately so we can have an ear-bleeding party. Refreshment ideas, anyone?


Person 1: "What happened to your stomach?"
Person 2: "I ate it." But wait...where'd you put it...?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Pins and Needles Day!

...which seems fairly dangerous, but that's okay. So, I guess we should all grab handfuls of needles and pins and throw them like confetti. Or something.

Neeever mind, find a less painful way to spend your Saturday. :)

On a not-as-sharp note, today's Words are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics. Enjoy! :)


"[It's the] bill in the dollarmobile, driving away!" Uh-huh...backing away sloooowly...

Person 1: "It's impossible."
Person 2: "Like nailing JELL-O to the wall."
Person 3: "That's one of my favorite analogies ever." And it's applicable in so many situations! 'That's messy.' 'Like nailing JELL-O to the wall.' 'That's disgusting,' 'that reminds me of my spleen,' ...the list goes on.

"You can't put me in a trash can!" Um, I so totally just did.

"An invisible snake in a tree trunk!" Good point.

"And I do not stalk him, contrary to popular belief. If you happen to know where someone lives it does not mean you are stalking them." Mm-hmm. You just keep telling yourself that.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Cake Day! (also Black Friday, but who cares about that)

Hey, guess what today is? Cake Day! So cool, right? I have so many cool pictures of cakes that I found, but...I'm only posting one. But feel free to look at the Cake Wrecks thing on the Interwebs, their Sunday posts are always full of fantabulous cakes! :)

Can you even believe that's a cake? So cool, right?

So, today's WFTH are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Or see number green." Aw. I wanted to see the color thirty.

"I don't wanna break it, I wanna destroy it." Oh, well if you want to destroy it, go ahead. My mistake. Somehow I thought those were the same thing.

"I can speak Braille." beep dot circle dot, i got my braille shot...wait...

"Sounded like a dead deer." So...it was completely silent.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

YoYoYo!

Yo, Yo-Yo!



Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. Don'tcha know.



James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher.

-or-

James, while John had had 'had', had had 'had had'; 'had had' had had a better effect on the teacher.


That that is is that that is not is not is that it it is.

-or-

That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is!

LOL.

Sorry for the long introduction. I couldn't resist. :) So guess what?

Today's WFTH are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"On Monday I want a 500-word essay on why you exist, 12-point font, Times New Roman." Double-spaced, or no?

"I did not steal your idea! You have Antarctica, like, on top of the ocean!" Um. Good point. I think.

"Snort, Deathly Donuts. I will eat you, donuts, no matter how deathly you are!" The ones with sprinkles are the worst. Each sprinkle is like a little piece of deathly confetti.

"Porcelain toads?" Um, of course! What did you expect, toads made of cheap pretend glass? We pay more attention to quality than that!

"I think you have me confused with the penguins." Oh, sorry. Your blue hair and green tuxedo confused me.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day!!

Yay!! So, if you see this:



And it is distinctly un-broken...you are not allowed to use whatever the seal was on. In this case, looks like a swimming pool. Or an ocean.

You are not allowed to go and break the seal just to be able to use it then. I mean, really? Just wait till the seal goes somewhere else. It is not that difficult.

But guess what? Today's WFTH are from the Fairly Mean category!! Yay again! My comments are in italics--enjoy!


"Yeah, Carly did order my murder. And I found out. And I actually died. For four minutes." What a productive day you've had.

Person 1: "There's only one logical thing to do in that situation: Cut off the limbs and/or head."
Person 2: "And." I concur.

"And now I can't drink my water 'cause it's filled with Michael Myers' ashes, and he's gonna stab me in the throat and I'll choke to death!" A fair point. Give it to your best friend when they're most in need.

Person 1: "I thought you were going to make the pterodactyl purple."
Person 2: "Well, I was, but then I realized that red is more VIOLENT." And if you don't make your potentially purple pterodactyl violently red, who will?

"[said deadpan, with a completely straight face] If I could have any pet it would be a unicorn...but if I had to choose a real one, I would choose an eel so it could die from neglect." Your reasoning is sound and undebatable.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Start Your Own Country Day!

Mine's totally a totalitarianistic one. Not really, I just wanted to say 'totally totalitarian.' :D

But what's your country like? Mine mainly exports starfruit and kiwifruit. And it imports candy. Lots and lots and lots of candy....mmm....

But anyway.

(Mmm. Candy...)

Today's WFTH are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D


"Have you set your fruit on fire today?" Uh, nope, not yet. I was planning to do that a little later in the evening.

Person 1: "No, I would not like a massage on my thigh, actually."
Person 2: [creepy-ish voice] Oh, reeeally? I have some information that begs to differ..." Um. Okay. Well your information can beg all it wants, it's wrong.

"Should I buy my own chicken, or no?" Um, yeah! But only if it's one of those all-head ones that are big and yellow and fluffy and don't have anything except a head. I have one. It's bigger than my head. So cool, right?

"[singing] I'm running around with a pan, I'm running around with a pan, I'm running around with a pan...I'm running around with plastic stuff, I'm running around with plastic stuff, I'm running around with plastic stuff, and I don't know what it is!" What a lovely tune. I predict it will be the next great hit from Hannah Montana.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Send-it-in-Sunday Again, y'alls!

And I'm typing with one hand, which takes waaay more time than typing with both of 'em...but anyway, feel free to post any WFTH you might have heard in the comments!

Hey, another NaNo pic! Tada!
So, today's Words are from the Kinda Gross category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Plus, a booger will, like, fly back into your head or something!" Oh great. I was hoping they'd at least fly into the back of someone else's head, but...whatever. That was a teacher, by the way.

"The rest of the United States was starting to fester." What is it, an open wound? That's a great description...

"Did you say 'lick my abs'?" Um, why not?

"I just found out my great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa's name was Crish. Just Crish. And he had a mustache made of nose hairs." Thank you for that lovely image.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Bonus Saturday, woo-hoot! :D

Okay, so far I have not been knocked unconscious by the aforementioned axman. I'm crossing my fingers, though, just in case.
But, hey, today's Bonus Saturday Words are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"[I'm planning to impersonate her]...and her tongue's really pointy, so I need to sharpen my tongue..." You do that. Just try not to drool all over the pencil shavings again.

Person 1: "It's like [those people] are in a lime!"
Person 2: "A lime."
Person 1: "One of those giant limes!" I think there's a book about that, actually, James and the Giant...oh wait. Wrong color fruit.

"So? I'm a meat-a-tarian, and I still eat vegetables!" Um, meat-a-tarian?

"[singing] I like to eat, eat, eat, chicken fa-heet-aaaahs..." Thank you for sharing. Second verse!

"It's okay. You have to deal with bananafish wrath." Not again.

My Psych book is threatening me...

It informed me "You may be fairly certain that you are conscious right now." Which seems rather like a veiled threat to me. Surely it will soon be followed up by "But in the next five seconds, a rather insane axman will come up behind you and bludgeon your skull, making you unconscious! Hurrah!"

I have already informed some of my friends of this worry.

They did not seem too concerned.

But if this post doesn't get published, that will be the reason why: I was bludgeoned by a psychology-textbook-summoned mad axman.

Of course, then you wouldn't be able to see the post, and no one will ever know.

Hmmm...

Well, in other (less confusing) news, today's WFTH are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"He's got a Mohawk on his eye." And that's not painful at all.

"[a guy speaking] It's my lucky pantyhose." Um. What?

"This is not a raisin tree!" But why not? Raisin trees are delicious! Very wrinkly, though. They fall apart when you try to climb them.

"That's enough blood flow." I agree. That's my favorite saying, in fact. Actually, it's my new catchphrase.

Friday, November 19, 2010

So...whazzup?

Agh! I've heard the new HP movie is fantabulous but couldn't go see it last night (well, really, this morning) due to lots of things, mainly that it opened on a school night--what's that all about? But anyway...today is Have a Bad Day Day, which I tried to prove wrong by having a really great day, which worked out pretty well, hope it did for you too...and I sang a squirrel song, used a stopwatch, and both did my Physics homework and posed two intelligent discussion questions and one apparently stupid comment in English today. The class, not the language. Well, actually, it was in the language of English as well...'Twas cool.

Ooh! Another NaNo pic! :)



But anyway...today's WFTH are from the Fairly Mean category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"[excited voice] You look like my puppy after she ran into the wall!" Gee, thanks.

Person 1: "She's a dumb loser but you're just a loser, you're better off."
Person 2: "You're stupid, right? No, she's dumb, she's stupid, you're a loser, I'm lame."
Person 3: "Finally got that straightened out." Good thing, too. That was keeping me up at night.

"Yeah. Sand the dog. Shave it with a coarse sander." If you insist. Is this a wooden dog, here? Or...hmmm...

"I won't say there's no crying in AP because there probably is. Just don't mess up your paper." Great advice. I feel really relaxed now.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Please State Your Password.

My apologies. Unless you know the correct password you may not retain access to this blog. Also you have to...wait, what? Oh, my humblest and most metallic apologies. I am now receiving information that says actually anyone can see this blog. I think I am in the wrong place. Hold on a moment please. Yes. Yes, it appears I am actually supposed to be guarding a Pentagonal blog. Or maybe the White House. Please disregard all previous instructions. Thank you and good day.

What was that robot doing in my studio? Get him out of here!

Sorry. You just can't find good free robotic secretarial help these days. Though I actually didn't want any.

But anyway.

Today's WFTH are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics. Enjoy! :)

"I'll bring in wrist cupcakes!" Are they made of actual wrists, or just pretend ones? Because the fake ones ain't gonna cut it. No way, no how.

"I just found a crowbar and carried it around all day." Umm...good for you...?

"Kendra's sister is the light of my life...she's the water in my fountain." I really hope that was said ironically.

Person 1: "You know what I learned today? Cows cannot go down stairs."
Person 2 (teacher): "Unless you push them! [flails arms about in imitation of cow pushed down stairs]" This is a good thing to learn. Thank you for enlightening us. Also...how did you learn this, exactly? ...as I recall, as soon as this was said, much discussion ensued about employing a special automated stairs-helper-going-down-er for the cow, and imitation thereof. I think we were supposed to be...you know...actually having class...but whatevs. ;)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Shortest. Blog post. Evar!

Sooo sleepy...no real intro today, sorry ladies and germs, but I seriously am going to try to get at least six hours of sleep tonight. :) So, that's cool. :) You should do the same. Also, you should try Neopolitan (not sure if that's spelled right) ice cream--it's amazing. Like getting free samples of three flavors, only all at once! Par-tay! :D


"Ow! He hit me with his eye!" That would be painful, but usually not for the person being hit...aren't eyeballs squishy?

"You sound like a petrified zombie." As opposed to a decomposing one.

"2 + 2 is MILK!" And what level of high school math are we taking now?

"Do you own pants?" Not anymore...

Monday, November 15, 2010

Par-tay!

I just found a quarter the size of my palm! So cool, right?
Oh, guess what? NaNoWriMo is halfway over today! So, theoretically, the writers should have their novels halfway finished! (I'm not even close. But catching up! :D) Here's another NaNo pic I found:


So, guess what else? Today is Dynasty Day! ...In Belgium. Let's celebrate by eating cake anyway, even if you don't live in Belgium! :)

So, today's WFTH are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"Therefore, I shall write about my face." You do that.

"If I don't like you, you might become a squash." Um, non sequitor here! Or are you a fairy godmother? Bippity, boppity, squash!

"The alien is dying in the hallway." You don't seem too concerned. Well, it is the fifth time it's happened during this class period, though, so, I can see why not.

Person 1: "She's making fun of my circles!"
Person 2: "We will do your circle therapy later." 'And how does that make you feel?' 'Um...round...'

"The oysters are taking over the world!" Not again...last time it was Lady Gaga, now it's oysters...WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Delicious, Soft Tacos Are.

Speaking like Yoda, I am.

But how are ye t'day? I'm great, wonderful, thankee kindly. There is a green lizard with an abnormally large and rounded head starin' a' me, but, ye know, 'tis fairly normal. No, I d'nae have a Scottish accent if that's what ye'were thinkin'. ;)

Oookay. Sorry. But guess what today is? Send-it-in-Sunday! If you've heard any WFTH of your own, feel free to post them in the comments! :) Anyway, today's Words are from the Kinda Gross category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"If you're trying not to laugh, don't say gallbladder. [entire table immediately cracks up]" But, but...I want to! I will say gallbladder as much as I want, thank you very much!

Person 1: "Can I use your tentacles? ...Hey, they already grew back!"
Person 2: "What'd you do with the other ones?"
Person 1: "Oh, I just threw them over there." Great. Now they're gonna grow two whole new bodies, and who knows what might happen next. Nice going.

"I have a glockenspiel in my underwear." Ummm. Thank you for sharing?

Person 1: "Guess what? I got new spray! It's Victoria's Secret!"
Person 2: "What? OMG! Spray my butt!" But careful of the glockenspiel.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

So...

...what's up? Nothin' much on this end. Met a robot baby this weekend. It robotically cried. Business as usual. 

Tada, another NaNoWriMo pic! :)

So, yeah, editing cats, also business as usual...so, anyway, today's WFTH are from the Say What? category, oh, and guess what? (Must start new line for emphasis. Hold on.)

Today's post is an all-teachers edition!

(OK, back to normal post intro.) My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"Yeah. Plants are smart. Plants don't spontaneously combust." Most of them, anyway.

"[Mary Shelley] knows two words. And they were...abhorrent, and...oh yes, fiend." She does tend to use those quite frequently. She probably also knows the word "the"...I noticed that popped up quite a lot in her book. Almost like a recurring theme...hey, let's write an essay on that!

"Okay, everybody, I want you to do your air and buttons!" Um. Let's really hope this was a band teacher.

"A billionaire could make a better stapler than this!" Nah, he (or she)'d just get a lackey to do it for them. And then it'd be made in China, and it'd end up being about the same quality. Looks like you've got a stapler dilemma. Huh.

"Just...don't breathe!" Sage advice.


"She made me wear a hot-pink dress! I looked like a cupcake!" I can honestly say I've never seen a hot-pink cupcake. It would be very interesting to see in a blender with something green, though. Maybe green Skittles? Polka-dot milkshakes are so much fun!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Hmm.

There appears to be a blacksmith on my back porch. How odd. Let me see what he's doing.

Oh. He's banging his blacksmith's hammer on a piece of tree branch which is resting on top of his blacksmith's anvil...which is made out of wood...as is his hammer.

Not sure I see the point of this task, but...whatever.

Oh. He says that if you need any wood hit by wood on top of more wood, he's your guy. Just call "Oh, blacksmith" as loudly as you can to a nearby tree over and over until he comes. You must be patient, or he won't arrive.

This is vaguely like Santa Claus.

Only woodier.

Whatever.

Anyway, today's Words From The Hallway are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"LOOK AT MY GRUESOME WOUND! Haha, no, it's just blood." Because wounds don't produce blood at all.

"I'm a natural landmark!" If you say so...

"Earthworms are phizophrenic." I'm pretty sure that's not a word...and that was a teacher...but hopefully not an English teacher...and if so, how did worms come into the equation?

"So this guy was giving a report on England, and he asks if there are any questions. And this one girl is, like, 'Um, what language do they speak in England?' and the guy's like '...English...' and she says, completely seriously, 'But I thought England was in France.'" I see London, I speak France...wait, what?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

This is the shortest intro ever. Tada! The end. Thank you. You're velcome. (Sorry, Agatha-Christie/theatre joke.)

Today's WFTH are in the Say What? category! My comments are in italics. Enjoy! :)


"She's an octopus!" I don't even know how to be offended by this! Does that mean she exudes ink? Or that she sucks? Or maybe that she's simply a good swimmer...hmm...

Person 1: "Is she dead?"
Person 2: "No, I'm getting inspiration! Shut up!" I often get inspiration from dead people. Which I see.

"Because everyone wants someone's bosom staring at them." Duh.

Person 1: "Bananas are incredibly awkward."
Person 2: "How are they awkward?"
Person 1: "They're awkward!"
Person 2: "No, they're not, they have a nice little sheath." Sheath or no, they're still awkward. And, um, most people call it a peel, but whatevs.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

OmbligoOmbligoOmbligo

Ombligo, it transpires, means navel in Spanish. This is incredibly hilarious. OmbligoOmbligoOmbligo. Okay, maybe it's just hilarious to me. Whatever. :)

Okay, so I typed in ombligo, and the search engine suggested I search for Ombligo De La Luna, meaning bellybutton of the moon, so of course this picture pops up:


Whatever. Anyway, back to things more easily understood than search engines' brains, and lack thereof...actually, never mind. Sometimes these are more complicated. But whether complicated or easily understood, I bring you, without further ado...today's Fairly Mean Words From The Hallway! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Can I please rip your face off?" Well, since you asked so nicely...no.

Person 1 [in a "psychologist-voice"]: "And how does that make you feel?"
Person 2: "Like I wanna punch you in the face."
Person 1: "That's good. Hate is a passionate emotion. We can work with passion." Can we work with it in a face-punching sort of direction?

"I'm so excited I'm throwing calculators--it's almost as good as throwing babies!" I often find that throwing babies is a relaxing technique. Calculators? Not so much.

Person 1: "We need a writing utensil..."
Person 2: "We'll use Murry's blood!" But they said only blue or black ink! You're gonna get disqualified! ...Oh yeah, or a number-two pencil. I think blood and graphite are almost the same. Never mind, go ahead!

"Everybody hates me. I'm on everybody's death list. Even grass hates me...whenever I step on it it spits on me...one time I was being choked by grass in the middle of the night, I woke up and it was climbing in my mouth and filling up my throat. It was horrible." And I can see that you were not at all scarred from the experience. I think you have bigger problems than being on everybody's death list...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Slowly Eating Princesses

And on your left, well, actually, above you, you'll notice a title created from a verb, noun, and adverb given by a random passerby. Together, they make a phrase, which, when googled, displays the picture below, for no apparent reason.


Do not feed the exhibit. Also, please take only pictures and leave only footprints. Thank you for visiting the Title Zoo. Please come back again, and feel free to tip the zookeeper. That would be me. Danke, Merci, & Gracias! Also thank you.

On a less zoological note, today's WFTH are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics. Enjoy! :)



"That dead hamster's probably nothing but skele-corn by now." Good point. I mean...what?

Person 1: "Well, basically, Bellatrix [Lestrange] has an alter ego...and sometimes, she's transported into the Cinderella universe."
Person 2: "Aww. I thought you were going to say she was Hannah Montana." I was wondering when she was going to reveal her true Death Eater self.

"You can't just pop up with a fish!" Why not? I do that all the time except not at all!

"And then Ms. Taley's, like, 'Would you ever fall in love with a flower?' and I'm, like, 'NO! It's a FLOWER!'" And how does that make you feel? *strokes nonexistant beard philosophically*

Monday, November 8, 2010

Hey, Jude...

I mean, hey, people! :) How are ya? I'm perfectly awesome, thanks for asking. :D
Guess what? Another NaNo pic! :D


Guess what else? Today's WFTH are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category! :)


"No, you have to have an Irish Scottish." Oh, I understand now. My Swedish English wasn't good enough to comprehend that before.

"But won't the notecards melt?" Um, they're made of paper. I'm pretty sure they're gonna be okay.

"I am going to stab you with my wallet." Ah, the sheer leatheriness is overcoming me. Watch me flail.

"This week is, like, two weeks long!" The wisdom of that statement is undeniable. Especially considering that was a teacher.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Hug A Bear Day!

If I were you, I'd stick to teddy-bear hugging. Otherwise, things could turn pretty tragic pretty fast. Just sayin'.

Another NaNo pic!
And, today's WFTH are from the category of...Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"Her hair is a Leslie." Good point.

"Buckle your swashes, gents; this party ain't over!" Don't worry. I started buckling my swash before the party even started.

Person 1: "Why the psychotic laughing smiley?"
Person 2: "No, it was a thanks-I'm-glad-you-liked-it smiley."
Person 1: "Funny, it looked like the psychotic laughing smiley." A common misconception.

"He has to take his shirt off, like, every five minutes." The horror.

"About energy efficiency, can that be, like, 'close your fridge or you're gonna die'?" Why, yes. Yes, it can.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Gasp!

Sorry to cause the alarm and panic of a missed day, which I'm sure occurred...or, you know, not...

Anyway, I was out of town. And, it (for some reason) was a town without any Internet access, like, at all. So cool, right? It was like living in the 1800s, except in no way whatsoever!

Hey, guess what? I Googled NaNoWriMo, and this is what came up:



Yummmm.

So. Back to, you know, the actual Words From The Hallway. Today's quotes are from the Fairly Mean category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"Be calm--just strangle them with your mind." While taking calming breaths and sitting in a downward frog yoga pose.

"You could tear Nick's head off if you want!" Well, I probably would have anyway, but thanks for your permission! (This was a teacher, folks.)

"It's not like I put a rabid squirrel in your backpack!" ...this time.
Person 1: "What's in there?"
Person 2: "Hair! Hair!"
Person 3: "Projects from sixth graaaaade!"
Person 1: "If we're lucky it'll be Gavin by the end of this." Funny, I was hoping the same thing.

"Ben has photographic amnesia--he forgets things as soon as he sees them. Or hears them." What about tasting them? 'How did the cake I made for you taste?' 'Wait, what?'

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Hello again!

I missed ya! How've you been today? I've been fantabulous! Guess what? I'm supposed to be doing about five other things right now! Guess what I'm actually doing?

BLOGGING.

I know.
You would never have guessed.

Ooh! Ooh! I found another picture for NaNoWriMo! Tada!!



Gues what else? Today's Words are from the category of...Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"If you stole it, I'm gonna beat you up with my fists!" As opposed to beating him up with your ear.

Person 1: "I need an eagle. But it'd have to be big enough for a couple people. And our backpacks, if we had it at school...and a house...and a pool!"
Person 2: "Is it an in-ground, um, in-eagle pool?" Yes. And it is filled with the tears of a thousand tiny eagles, crying because they can't unwrap chocolate bars or text due to their lack of thumbs.

"[singing] Today you are a llama, tomorrow you are ruler of the universe!" But I want to rule the universe today!

Person 1: "And the naked mole rats!"
Person 2: "From the radiation!"
Person 1: "They would accept you as one of their own!" Um...okay...there is really nothing to say to this...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Sandwich Day!

...What do you do with that? I mean, I eat a sandwich on more days than just November 3rd, so, ya know, whatever...
Oh, and I've heard it's also Ice Cream Day. Ooh! I know!

*ahem* Three words: Ice Cream Sandwich.

*ahem* Four more words: Buy one for me. Please. (OK, that's 5. See why we don't always need manners?)



You may have noticed the NaNoWriMo theme to the pictures lately. They are encouragement and support for all you NaNoers out there! :)

Incidentally, today's WFTH are in the Kinda Gross category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"I'm not decomposing that much yet!" Always a good sign...I think.

"I think my little toe is sweating right now." Thank you for sharing. Please continue describing other utterly disgusting facts about your feet.

"In my mind I'll assume it was Alex's face: It was green." A great conclusion.

"Ew! Where did that hand come from?" If it's disembodied, that'd probably be me. Sorry 'bout that.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Happy Name Your Car Day!

I do not have a car. I named it anyway. XD

Today's Words are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics, enjoy! :)


"[summarizing a poem] Okay, then...person...want...friend...dig up plants...move across town!" Caveman...love...wheel poetry!

"I hate spiders. My buddy and I went huntin' once and I walk into this huge spiderweb. I shot it." I'm sure that helped the situation a lot.

"Let me cure the slime for you!" Uummm, feel free.

Person 1: "At 4:30 in the morning, 'spork' is the funniest word in the world."
Person 2: "'Sponge' is 3:30, 'spork' is 4:30--and at 2 in the morning: 'handcuffs.'" Thank you. I will now make a chart for extra reference.

"Does anybody know how to do this crap so I don't die on the pedestal of doom?" Nope! Have fun on your doomly pedestal!

Monday, November 1, 2010

OHMYGOSH NANOWRIMO IS HERE!!

(See title. NaNoWriMo (AKA National Novel Writing Month) has started!!!! Participating authors must write 1,667 words a day of their own novel every day of November, and at the end of the month, they have a fully-fledged, completely-unedited, diamond-somewhere-deep, deep-in the rough, 50,000 word novel! So, yeah. That's pretty exciting!!!!!)


But in other news, (way less exciting, I know), today's WFTH are from the Fairly Mean category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"[singing] Jordan fails at life. Ha!" Fala, lala, lala, lala!

Person 1: "Dear Diary: Today Ben received toweling lessons."
Person 2: "He needed them."
Person 3 (Ben): "Oh shush."
Person 1: "Still, it's a good diary entry."
Person 3: "Your face is a good diary entry." Gasp. Tell me you did not just say that.

"Back-back, you mutz!" Wait, what?

Person 1: "I got stopped by a security guard on the way here. She wanted to read my shirt."

Person 2: "What's it say?"
Person 1: "'You're just jealous 'cause I'm buff.'"
Person 3 (teacher): "And then she laughed 'cause it's a lie!" True, true.

"They're not the freak of nature that is the hero." But I wanna be a hero! Does I has to be a freak of nature too? I don't wanna!

Person 1: "You like the part of her wasting her time in the end."
Person 2: "Yeah. I thought it was hilarious." But of course.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Ta-da!

So, like I said, today's a Send-it-in-Sunday! Feel free to post any WFTH you've heard in the comments! It's also Halloween! Boo!

(I know. I scared ya. You don't have to try to hide it.)

Anyway, today's quotes are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D


"In the figure, my entire arm got decapitated!" Why did your arm have a head to be chopped off in the first place? Or, why don't you know what decapitated means?

Person 1: "Did you take a picture of cheese?"
Person 2: "No, I took a picture of chicken and the chicken looked like a heart and the mushroom looked like a Martian." Because that makes sense.

"If it's a tomato, I'm a storm trooper. If it's a pizza, I'm Michaelangelo." The artist or the turtle that is ninja and mutant? Or the ninja mutant artist?

"My rock is thirsty." As long as it's not stoned.

"Don't inhale the worms!" But why not? They're good for the lungs!

Bonus Day!!

Hello, ladies and germs! Not only is today Halloween, and Send-It-In-Sunday (so feel free to post in the comments any Words From The Hallway you may have heard lately! :D), and the last day of October, but it's also....(drumroll please)....a Bonus Sunday!!! Yaaay! That means you, yes, you, get two posts today! May the band play and the confetti flow freely!

Hey. The quotes in the yesterday's post are spaced really weird. Hmm...It's all the candy corn's fault. Yes. Let us place the blame on as many inanimate objects as possible.

So, today's bonus Words From The Hallway are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"I'll just put 'I show modesty by feeding my dog.'" Umm, you do that. You know, of course, that that has nothing to do with modesty, right? Just checkin'.

"It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's a piece of paper." How anticlimatic, yet aerodynamic.

"You don't want to get rid of your muscles. Muscles are good." Obvious statement-maker is obvious.

"2 times 1 cannot equal 2 if you add it!" Wait, what? Is this one of those new scientifical theories? Well, I refuse to believe it!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Candy Corn Day!

Aha! Not only is it the day before Halloween, it is candy corn day as well!! We must all celebrate and shove as much candy corn in our faces as possible! Actually, I only like it in small bites. The candy corn pumpkins are good, too. Candy cornkins. Also it's fun to find the mutant candy corns, ya know?

Wow! Par-tay! Soooo many awesome candy corn pictures online!
 


Anyway, today's quotes are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"Would you sink or float in a pool of pudding?" Ahh, the great mystery of life. Actually, I think it's referred to as a herd of pudding. ...I had a dream about pudding last night. I kid you not.

"Boohoo, she has my pants!" Boohoo.

Person 1: "I don't really want to be a nun. They don't do 'high-risk activities,' do they?"
Person 2: "We can be X-TREME NUNS!!!!" Uh-huh...that's niiice...

"Yeah. I have rug burn on my face." Well, why was your face burning a rug in the first place? There's your problem!


"It's like primer for your face." Well butter my face and chase a banana, he's darn-tootin' right!