Saturday, August 7, 2010

Happy Sea Serpent Day!

I'm sure it will please you all to know that August 7 is Sea Serpent Day! So go out there about sea serpents. How are we supposed to celebrate that, exactly? Visit one? Photograph Nessie? Serve them for dinner? They really should be more clear about these things.
Rather than sea serpents, here are some more Words From The Hallway, served up on a platter for you. My comments are in italics! Bon appetit!

Some are fairly mean:

Person 1 (student): "My brain hurts."
Person 2 (teacher): "Honey, I don't think there's anything in that cavity that can hurt." Nice. But, considering Person 1, very true.

"How many idiots does it take to figure out the past tense of 'shake'?" I dunno, but it's on your shoulder! Oh wait...wrong joke. Oh wait again...that wasn't even a joke.

Some are kinda gross:

"It's like a little tiny toilet marshmallow." Say whaaat?

"I was thrusting my sword through his gut." Um...ow!

Some are rather duh-inspiring:

"Twenty years young? That doesn't make sense!" Thank you, Sherlock.

"Are cookies brown?"

And some don't make any sense at all!

"I supported you up until you said you wanted to go to pirate school." The conversation was about learning ninja skills, then going to pirate school to become a ninjirate. This was during gym class. I'm sure there's a pun somewhere in there...

"Hey, just because I was born on the Internet doesn't mean I spend my whole life there!"

"Did you die and not tell me?"

"The threshold of weird is purpley with orange polka dots. [creepy laughter]"

"What if you break a mirror under a ladder and then trip over a black cat and fall on a crack? Do you just, like, die?" 4 out of 5 scientists say: Yes. The fifth one tried it.

"[announcer voice] If you don't talk to your alter ego about starting fires in his or her metaphorical bedroom, who will?" Good question. I think.

Bonus Saturday!

Hola, y'all! It's Saturday, so I thought I'd post an extra entry along with the 4-o-clock-ish one! My comments are in italics! Here are some more Words From The Hallway! Enjoy, and feel free to comment!

Some are fairly mean:

Person 1: [laughs at Person 2]
Person 2: "Slap a monkey's bum!"

"Brian, if you roll your eyes like that again, I will roll them out of your head."

Some are kinda gross:

Person 1: "I'm gonna eat your liver."
Person 2: "I hope it tastes delicious."

"His eye fell out of his stomach."

Some are rather duh-inspiring:

"Just because she's two-dimensional, only means that she has two dimensions!" Oookay...?

"Eating people, I think, is probably against the rules." No, really?

And some don't make any sense at all!

Person 1: "Don't mind me! I'm just a curious little rhino!"
Person 2: "I'll rhino your mino!"

"Do you see anyone jumping on an orchestrawagon? Bandwagons are so much cooler! Duh!" Huh. Never thought of that before...

"Dude--I can't wait till I'm 70 so I can be the creepy old guy who lives next door, like, 'heeeeeeeh.'" And what a great imitation of a creepy old guy. Sounds like you'll do fine.

"[singing] 99 boxes of Jon on the wall, 99 boxes of Jon, take one down, pass it around, 98 boxes of Jon on the wall..." Are you sure that's how it goes?

"Slower than a dead snail!" That is pretty slow...

"This is a total secret: [the band teacher] is actually a member of the CIA. His mom calls him at school to give him his secret assignments." Would you believe this is actually another teacher talking? It is!

"Did you know if you plant a unicorn horn, another unicorn grows?" Weirdly enough, no. No, I didn't.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Welcome to the Jungle! I mean...Blog!

So, like I've said, these quotes are funny things said by my classmates, overheard by me or my friends. My comments are in italics! (Sometimes it's hard to resist commenting on these...feel free to leave your own!)

Some are fairly mean:

"You look like a glazed doughnut!" what way? The chewiness? The sprinkles??

Person 1: "The upside-down e, the schwa."
Person 2: "That's my favorite word: I'm gonna hit you with a schwa!"

Some are kinda gross:

"I can smell your feet breath."

Person 1: "She would kick a puppy!"
Person 2: "No, she would kick a puppy, then burn it, then eat it."

Some are rather duh-inspiring:

"Did they just paint those guys gray, or is the film black and white?"

Person 1: "What state's motto is 'North to the Future'?"
Person 2: "Wait, is Canada a state?"

And some just don't make any sense at all!

"How epicly did we fail?"

"Did you know Megan has an extra ankle?"

"My underwear's, like, Canadian!" Yes, but is it a state?

"No such thing as a childproof pirate!" So true...I think.

"It's as easy as falling off a roof!" And twice as painful.