Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Happy Square Dance Day, y'alls! ...do what you will with that, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES actually square-dance. You may cut a square from a piece of paper or gelatin and make it dance, or interpret in other creative ways, however.

Random picture of the day:



That's...really nice...what?


ANYway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I'm majoring in Facebook stalking in college." You do that. On a completely unrelated note, I'm changing my name in college.

"Having one of those [monkey loofahs], when you're a child, is like having a friend in the bath! ...I was a lonely child, okay?" Clearly.

"I'm almost positive your fingers do not have schizophrenia." Oh, you don't know.

"Salad without Craisins...is like the integral of natural log without the constant of integration." So...confusing, and disgusting.

Monday, November 7, 2011

National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day!

Happy National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day! Why it has to be so very specific, we may never know. Also, gross! Let's try some real chocolate, shall we? Okay, I'm officially changing it to National Milk Chocolate Truffle Day. Much better. :D

Random picture of the day:



I...don't even know...

Anyway, today's Words are from the Fairly Mean category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I just found out Amy was a senior and it, like, ruined my life." I'm sure she's glad about it too.

"So he was talking about beating up my dead grandma." What a...lovely...pastime...I highly suggest you find him a new hobby. But that's just me.

Person 1: "Are you aware that you are hurting little kids' feelings? With my death?"
Person 2: "Why are you laughing? He died, Charlie!" Aaand you just answered your own question.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

National Doughnut Day!

Remember, remember, the fifth of November...'cause it's National Doughnut Day, of course! Pretty excited about that...

Random picture of the day:

Oooooo. Snazzy.

Library story of the day: So you know the spine labels on most library books that have the first four letters of the author's last name? I've finally found one I approve of with James Bamford. Oh, and of course I love the label on Colonial Food--641 FISH. Yup, pretty self-explanatory there. Add some plants and you don't even need to read the book.

ANYway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"No children's plays. I don't want you reading, um, "The Bear and the Tortoise..." The bear eats the turtle. That's the moral of the story: Don't become friends with bears." That's...umm...a great moral...

"I feel like when you die, the sun will burn less brightly because everyone will be so depressed." I have to say, that's either the nicest insult or most morbid compliment I've ever been given.

"I mean, not everyone is Tina Fey every morning, and not everyone's a Viking every day..." Says you.

"I can lay on the piano if you need me to. Really suggestively." Um, no thanks, I'm good. No, really. I don't think I'll ever need that. Just sayin'.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Name Your Car Day!

Happy National Name Your Car Day! My friend wanted me to name my car Ariel's Execution Hedgehog...but I decided against it. Instead, I went with Idris. Same thing, though, really.

Random Picture of the Day:


Oh no! Not an attack of the poisonous leech-balloons! Run away, random office worker, run awaaaaaaay!!!!

Library Story of the Day: So I was shelving in the crafts section, and I don't really like shelving where patrons are trying to get books, because it's really awkward; you can't just shove the book on the shelf and get out of their way, no, you have to stare at the shelf for a while and move some books out if their spine labels are covered and whatnot, and it's awkward and it takes forever. So I was waiting for this one dude to get out of the quilting section--he was taking forever, going from shelf to shelf, seemingly methodically checking each individual book, taking some out, putting them back in...and then I remembered that he worked at the library. And was organizing the shelves.......whoops........

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

Person 1: "I am a metaphorical threshold....I am a metaphorical threshold....I am a metaphorical threshold...."
Person 2: "Aaaand the last scene, in which, I think, Nick was a threshold?"
Person 1: "No, I was a dead body!" Eh, same thing.

***

Person 1: "Ha! I shot you!"
Person 2: "No you didn't because I'm a Patronus! It went right through me! You shot the fridge!"
Person 1: "Technically, I shot the toaster."
Person 2: [singing] "Iiiiiii shot the toasteeeeeerrrr (but I did not shoot the microwave...)" Iiiiiiiii shot the toasteeeer...but I swear it was in self-defense...no, really, it was shooting overdone toast at me! Have you felt those things? They're like missiles!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Mulled Mud Day, sorta

Happy National Mulled Cider Day and National Mud Pack Day! I've no idea what a mud pack is, so I can only suggest a combination of the two, and that you enjoy a nice steaming mug of mulled mud. Delicious.

Library Book of the Day: Log Cabin Quilts With Attitude.

Oh no you did not just shake that pattern at me, young man! I am eight square feet bigger than you and not afraid of you and your backsass!

Random picture of the day:
How lovely. He's probably enjoying a nice cup of joe, and by joe I mean mulled mud.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Chickens don't give milk, they give orange juice!" Oh, is that how that works?

"I have a freckle on my tooth!" Oh yeah? Well I have a tooth on my freckle! Beat that, cowboy!

"They could, like, selectively select people." Or you could just redundantly be redundant. Either or.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Ask A Stupid Question Day!

Happy Ask A Stupid Question Day! Why is it this holiday, you may ask? I would answer by congratulating you on already getting into the spirit of things.

Library Book of the Day:


Banjo of Destiny....what?



Random Picture of the Day:


Well, that is just lovely. And really, really creepy.
 
Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"If I was in a garden gnome shop and she was a garden gnome, I'd be, like, 'I want this one, except it's a garden gnome...' I confuse myself." Don't worry, sunshine, we're plenty confused, too.

"Oh no, my strawberry fell out of my ear!" Well, that's kind of your own fault--strawberries are notorious for causing mischief and refusing to stay put. And it was in your ear because...?

Person 1: "So I figure I'm saving a lot of time of my life by saying 'Welcome' instead of 'You're welcome'...I mean, that's like twenty seconds a day, times 365..."
Person 2: "You're saving your life!" Aaaaand then you just wasted this saved-up time by explaining your master plan...ironic, eh?

Monday, September 26, 2011

Hey, all! Happy...[deep breath] Good Day For Ducks, Bad Day For Painters Day; Monochromatic Monday; Pancake Day; and Fish Amnesty Day. -phew!- Just what these poor fish have done that they need to be granted amnesty, we may never know. Oh, and it's also Something's-Wrong-With-My-Computer-Screen-And-Looking-At-It-Looks-Like-Trying-To-Watch-Something-In-3D-Without-Glasses-On Day...bleh. :P But anyway. Oh, guess what I heard on the radio? So 99.9 was alerting its listeners to what segment was coming up next, then I guess stating their little motto or whatever..."Channel 99.9 Traffic--all hits is how we roll." Ummm, might want to switch that up a little bit...? But that's just me.

Hey, so I used to post the random stories from my job at the library on facebook, but now apparently people think I should blog about them (whether stories I've shelved or stories about shelving)...so check back here for library updates if you wish! :)

Random picture of the day:


How...lovely. Is this a textbook? How To Poke People With Sticks But Only If They're Really, Really Bothering You Otherwise It Looks Like Waaay Too Much Effort?

Weird book of the day:


The Secret World of Lizards. Well, it's not so secret anymore, now is it? Way to go, cowboy.

Anyway, today's WFTH are from the Fairly Mean category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy!

"And your brain controls all that, which is good, because imagine if you guys had to control your own breathing, you'd be like 'beat beat beat wonder what's for lunch--dead.' or 'wonder if he'll text me back--dead.' and then I'd be doing CPR all day long." Glad you care so much.

"The sight of your face makes my eyes burn with the intensity of a thousand suns." So...is that a good thing, or a bad thing? I don't think you've been as clear as you could be on this...

"So, not to point anybody out, but, Nick, whatever you did was wrong." Gee. Thanks.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Punctuation Day!

Happy Festival of Latest Novelties Day! And Jim Henson's 75th Birthday (even though he's dead)! And Punctuation Day!!!!!!! (note my celebration through ample exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Slightly-random pictures of the day:




How lovely.

Semicolon says: "Sorry for the brief hiatus from blogging; I thought it would make the sentence make more sense."

Comma says: "I was just, you know, out of breath."

Period says: "We just needed a rest."
Question mark wants to know: "We're back now, isn't that all that matters?"

Exclamation point is just having a spaz: "Hi! Hi! Did you miss me! Of course you did! Guess what! Today's a day all about me! Kind of! But really I'm the most important! Hi! Hi! Hi! Bye!"

...I just want to slap them all in their nonexistent faces, to tell you the truth. But anyway...today's Words are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! (Exclamation point is running rampant again, I see...)

"So I was playing with Play-Doh in theatre, and Mr. C was teaching us how to make donuts, and I looked down and there was a dead roly-poly bug in my hand...I wanna join the circus." Run for your liiiiives! Non sequitor lady strikes again!

"I love them. They are precious little pumpkins. But you guys are larger, more independent pumpkins." Gee. Thanks.

"If they had Mountain Dew during the black death, there wouldn't have been black death, there would just have been yellow awesome." Hmmmm...if you say so...I guess...okay, no.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

9-10-11!

It's 9-10-11, everybody! It's like counting, only without several important numbers! Also, Happy Swap Ideas Day!

Random picture of the day:


Ohhhh...if that giraffe sticks his tongue out at me ONE more time...[insert vague threat here]

Anyway, today's Words are from the conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

Person 1: "It'll be lit, though, so that should not be confusing."
Person 2: "Unless I get attracted to it like a moth." That would be confusing.

***

Person 1: "I know some of you were beat over the head with iambic pentameter last year..."
Person 2: "Literally."
Person 1: "But I like it! Iambic pentameter's nice! It's soft...like a wave pillow." Well that'll be good for when we're hit over the head with it...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Nose Hair Maintenance Day!

Happy Nose Hair Maintenance Day! How simply thrilling. Unlike Put Some Zucchini On Your Neighbor's Porch Night, please do not share this process with others around you, particularly me. That is all.


That is probably the flattest whale I have ever seen.

Anyway, today's Words, going along with the holiday, are from the Kinda Gross category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I have figuratively urinated on him; therefore, he is my territory." I want to see this happen literally. Not backing off until it does.

"Sydney's making out with my water bottle!" Yes, but did she urinate on it? Not as exciting as it could be, right?

"Let go of me! You're taking my brain out!" Aw, come on, I thought I told you to stop performing surprise cranioectomies at school! Less decapitation, more studying! Get your act together!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Emma M. Nutt Day!

Happy National Emma M. Nutt Day! Apparently, she was the first female telephone operator. How very nice for her. Actually, that'd be pretty cool. So that's exciting!

Random picture of the day:



I call not vacuuming! Nose goes!

Anyway, today's Words are from the Random Roulette Wheel category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Aw, his head comes off! That just made my day!" Random decapitation often cheers me up on a gloomy day, as well. I know exactly where you're coming from.

"I prefer not to work with myself sometimes...we begin to quarrel." What? Me? Quarrel with myself? That would never happen! Are you kidding me? I quarrel all the time! Noooo...

"See, pandas reproduce through fission." Reeeeeally. And see, you learn something new every day. Even in advisory. Learn something new...but not particularly correct...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Take Goofy Pictures Day

Happy National Take Goofy Pictures Day, all! ...this is pretty self-explanatory.

Random picture of the day:



...I can't even tell what this is supposed to be. A boat? Helicopter? Opera house? Who knows...

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "If you prefer to go by another name, let me know now. Nicholas?"
Nicholas: "Nick."
Person 1: "...Ryan?"
Ryan: "I prefer to go by Iron Stallion." Because when I think of nicknames for Ryan, 'Iron Stallion' is the first on my list. Right after Ry, An, and Bronze Horsie.

***

Person 1: "So now we can't even say 'Jamaican banana' without cracking up."
Person 2: "Yes, because that comes up in conversation so often." I know, right? I was just at the store and bought a Jamaican banana. That's one...two...nope, one time so far. It can only go uphill from here.

***

Person 1: "These shorts have, like, oil on them."
Person 2: "Oh, yeah, that was from when I jumped in boiling oil earlier; sorry, I forgot."
Person 1: "Plus the hem's all messed up, did you notice?"
Person 2: "Um, no. I was busy being boiled in oil, don't you remember?" Ah, yes. How could I forget?

Sunday, August 28, 2011

World Sauntering Day!

Happy World Sauntering Day, Contest Results Announced Day, and Eve S. D'ropper's birthday! XD Anyway, I think some people misread the instructions a bit, but instead of waiting for more people to actually comment, I figured I'd just pull the rest of the winners from people who 'liked' it on Facebook. So, the winners are:

Emily
Evan
Sara
simplyamusing
Alex H.
Justin M.

I'll contact you on facebook to find out what prize you'd like! The order in which you are listed is the order in which you get to choose your prize. Congratulations, and thanks to all who entered!

And now, on to the regularly scheduled WFTH post! (Which, hopefully, will be a bit more regular now that school's back in and people are as random as ever. :D)
Random picture of the day:



Oh, how lovely. ...Are they...holding the sun? Casting a spell? Making a shape? Ah, who cares.

Today's WFTH are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Ben won't let me eat his head!" How rude.

Person 1: "Gasp! How nefarious of him!"
Person 2: "He's pretty nefarious..." On a scale of 1 to nefarious...

"And then you gotta go around all day smellin' like eyeball juice!" Oh. This is a bad thing? I suppose I should get rid of my Eau De Eyeball perfume, then. *sigh*

Friday, August 19, 2011

National Soft Ice Cream Day!

Happy National Soft Ice Cream Day! ...as opposed, I suppose, to ice cream that is so un-soft that it can be used as a brick when building an igloo? Not sure on this point...

Random picture of the day:



Ah, the rare and elusive pencil-growing bush. I've tried to cultivate one of my own upon my head, but it went wrong somehow...although occasionally I shake my head and pencils fall out of my ears, so I suppose it wasn't a complete loss.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "It's from a movie."
Person 2: "You're from a movie! Everything you say is from a movie!"
Person 1: "Whatever, man. Dude."
Person 2: "Yeah, that's from Finding Nemo, the little turtle?" *insert retaliatory movie quote here*

***

Person 1: "Why are you saying 'ooo' behind her solo?"
Person 2: "Because we find their love disgusting!"
Person 3: "Because we're lamenting his death?"
Person 1: "Exactly. You are lamenting his death. So let it be...lamentous." I would, but it's still disgusting, apparently.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

National Bratwurst Festival Day!

Happy National Bratwurst Festival Day! A day of celebrating snarky toddlers!

Random picture of the day:



I know vacuuming's a pain, but I at least try to Hoover my living room at least once per season...although I'm sure it does add a nice sort of ambience...in that dead-slugs-on-the-undersides-of-the-leaves sort of way...

Anyway, today's Words are from the Kinda Gross category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "Why is there a crack?"
Person 2: "It's the universe's butt." Yep. That's it. How ever did you guess?

"What's worse than seven babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to seven trees." All I'm gonna say is, those have got to be the heaviest-duty staples ever.

Person 1: "You got dark chocolate Reese's? Ew!"
Person 2: "Sorry!"
Person 1, 3, and 4: [faux-vomit everywhere]
Person 2: "Quit panicking!"
Person 1: "We're not panicking; we're vomiting! There's a big difference!" Not really.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

National Creamsicle Day!

Hey, all! Sorry for the gap in posting; the Internet apparently hates me and wants to continually log me out of every web page I try to access. But anyway. Happy National Creamsicle Day! How wonderfully exciting!

Random picture of the day:



Aw. Computer-mouse-and-latte love. How sweet.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Don't upset her, okay? She's going through a ninja phase." Not again...

"I hope you're really good at sleight-of-hand, or we're gonna have to hurt a bunny." There's a motivation to learn magic if ever I've heard one.

"My butt is falling off!" Sad and unfortunate. No, really, I care. Oh wait, no I don't.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Anniversary (more or less) Contest!

Hey, all! So, guess what? Words From The Hallway has been online for approximately a year now! Aaaand, it has its own Facebook page! So...I thought that would merit a contest!

The Prizes:

You could win one of the prizes in the picture shown above: a $5 McDonald's gift card, the book An Abundance of Katherines, the book Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie, a package of Twizzlers, a package of Sour Patch Watermelons, or a package of sour gummi worms!

How to win: You can get multiple entries in the contest! Here's how...

(1) entry for following WFTH on Blogger! (Yes, it counts if you're already a follower.)
(2) entries for liking WFTH on Facebook! (Here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Words-From-The-Hallway/175312415874741?ref=ts)
(1) entry for every time you post a link to WFTH on your blog, Twitter, your Facebook wall, or someone else's Facebook wall!

Leave a comment to this post letting me know if you've accomplished any of these by Thursday, August 25th (two weeks from today). Good luck! :D

And now, on with the regular post!

Random picture of the day:



Aw, how cute. I love the smell of mutated pumpkins in the morning. Or pretty much anytime, actually.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Random Roulette Wheel category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"It's like zombie hand jive." Grease: The Zombie Apocalypse--Coming to a graveyard near you!

Person 1 (scornfully): "Rosie O'Donnell likes mayonnaise."
Person 2: "What's wrong with Rosie O'Donnell?"
Person 1: "Everything is wrong with Rosie O'Donnell!"
Person 3: "She literally eats people." Ummm. Somehow, I kinda doubt that. If only because people don't taste good at all with mayonnaise.

"Oh, it's that girl, with the eyes!" Ohhh, that girl! With the face? Yeah, I know her.

Person 1: "Yeah, it's always a good idea to have psychopaths on your [baseball] team."
Person 2: "I know, right?" Wrong.

"It's like dancing through daisies with hot aliens and chocolate fountains." So...it's confusing?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

National Lazy Day!

Happy National Lazy Day! Best. Day. Ever.

Random picture of the day:


Where does one procure these shoes and why don't I have any?!?

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"It's a whole herd of walking cactuses!" I believe they're called pods. A whole pod of walking cacti. Geez. Get it right.

Person 1: "It's a baby you shove into a DVD player."
Person 2: "I do that with all my babies." Ah, that would explain why they're so flat...

"Flan is the poisonous jellyfish of the dessert world." Now with 30% more stings!

Monday, August 8, 2011

National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night!

Happy National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night! ...I'm not sure if this is supposed to be friendly or diabolical...I guess that's up to you. Oh! Oh! Guess what? Octopi have rectangular pupils!!! How cool is that? I'll tell you: Pretty darn cool, that's how cool that is.

Random picture of the day:



Anyway, today's Words are from the Fairly Mean category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"And it's gotta be that maniacal 'I KILL THINGS FOR FUN' thing." Oh, yes. I always strive for that.

Person 1: "I want an ice cream truck, just to be my main mode of transportation. It wouldn't have ice cream in it or anything. I just want to drive one."
Person 2: "Why?"
Person 1: "Because then I could go wherever I want."
Person 2: "You can go wherever you want now."
Person 1: "I mean I could go slow wherever I want."
Person 2: "Why would you want to go slow?"
Person 1: "So I could taunt little children, and go really slow so they'd run up to me, and then I'd, like, fwchzooom, and drive away really fast."
Person 2: "Well, that's more like it." Yyyyyeahno.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

National Wiggle Your Toes Day!

Happy National Wiggle Your Toes Day! How wonderful it is to have a national holiday devoted to my main hobby...

Also, were you aware that we are in the midst of National Romance Awareness Month and National Foot Health Month, which one wouldn't think would be related but apparently are? Well, now you are. You're welcome. XD

Random picture of the day:



Ah, if only elephants had toes to wiggle. Or, actually, they might. Do elephants have toes? Add that to the list of Questions For The Ages. Or just google it. Whatevs.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "I just cracked my knuckles menacingly."
Person 2: "I am feeling menaced!" Well, that works out, then.

***

Person 1: "Did you say my name?"
Person 2: "Uh, nope. But I can! Susie. Susie. Susie." Gee, thanks. You're so helpful!

***

Person 1: "It's gotta be creepy, like people who live in the swamp."
Person 2: "...That's the simile you came up with?"
Person 1: "You know, like witch doctors, they live in the bayou!"
Person 2: "...what?" Ohhh, witch doctors! ...nope, still don't get it.

Friday, August 5, 2011

National Mustard Day!

Happy National Mustard Day! ...ew.

Random picture of the day:



Oh, the beauty! The tantalizing, buttery beauty!

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"It's not a storm, it's...flying stingrays?" But of course!

Person 1: "'Urinetown--the musical.' Jazz hands? Okay with that?"
Person 2: "I'm always okay with jazz hands." Jazz hands for the win!

"Well, it was either going to be ice cream or Pachelbel." The two are eerily similar.

"You are also apocalyptic meatloaf, mind you." Oh, I mind, all right.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

National Chocolate Chip Day!

Happy National Chocolate Chip Day! And, of course, fate has cruelly chosen this day for me to run out of milk-chocolate chips. Oh, the irony!!!

Random picture of the day:



Well, that looks comfy.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

Person 1: "First what we need to do is make Brendo really, really obese. And then in a day his metabolism will turn it into muscle, and then he won't be so scrawny!"
Person 2: "I don't think it works like that." Oh, what do you know? ...actually, I don't think so either. I just wanted to argue.

"Does everyone understand what 'crazy with the nitrates' means? It's like kidney poisoning, but it's a funny way to write it, 'cause kidney poisoning's not funny." Maybe not to you.

"Make sure you hold out that silent 'w.'" So...just shut up, basically?

Person 1: "Kate, you've gotten taller!"
Person 2: "I don't think so. I have not grown an inch."
Person 1: "Oh. Have I gotten shrinker?" Um, usually we call that 'shorter,' but new words are always fun, too!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Ice Cream Soda Sandwiches!

Hi, y'all! Sorry for not posting recently; I've hardly heard any Words recently, as I haven't been in any school hallways! (Thank goodness for summer vacation!) But anyway, Happy National Ice Cream Sandwich Day and National Ice Cream Soda Day! I suggest pouring soda in between two layers of ice cream to create an Ice Cream Soda Sandwich.

Random picture of the day:



How marvellous. Also, what the heck?

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "I've never met a squid I didn't like!"
Person 2: "That's because you've never met a squid." And your point is...?

***

Person 1: "Why did you search 'women crying in their wedding dresses' on my computer?"
Person 2: "Because I wanted to laugh at women crying in their wedding dresses." Your logic boggles the mind.

***

Person 1: "My own mother laughs at me when I fall down the stairs."
Person 2: "That's just sad." And, somehow, hilarious! ...I mean sad. Very, very sad.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

National Take Your Pants For A Walk Day, of course!

Happy National Take Your Pants For A Walk Day, everybody!

...I suggest wearing one pair and walking with another. But it's really up to you.

Random picture of the day:




See, he doesn't even have any pants. Jumpsuits are too nerdy to have their own national holiday or related form of exercise. But that's my humble opinion. Maybe it's different on whatever planet he's from. Or she, really. Who knows?

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy!


Person 1: "Who's on the fifty-dollar bill again?"
Person 2: "Grant."
Person 1: "He's a schmancy pooper." To use the technical term.

***

Person 1: "Like a gymnast!"
Person 2: "Like a zombie!" Same thing, really.

***

Person 1: "It was a pretty sizeable earthquake, in my opinion."
Person 2: [cracks up laughing]
Person 1: "What's so funny?"
Person 2: "Sizeable...you know, 'cause an earthquake is seismic...seismic, sizeab--oh, never mind." No, really. I'm laughing on the inside. Deeply, deeply inside.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

National Bagelfest!

Happy National Bagelfest! If that's not awesome, I don't know what is.

Random picture of the day:





Are they...cats? Rectangles? What, exactly, are piloting these apparently-no-steering-required, lightning-bolt helicopters? And why are there little flowers on the tails? Or do I want to know...?

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)


"Thursdays are my get-struck-by-lightning days, and I don't like that." Gee. Wonder why.

Person 1: "Did it say drive for 98 miles?"
Person 2: "It did."
Person 1: "That's how old I am!"
Person 2: "You're 98 miles old?"
Person 1: "Mmhmm!" Alrighty then...well, in that case, I'm 42 kilometers old! So there! Burrrrn

"The sourness is hurting my spleeeeeeeeen!" ...really?

"They're possessed goldfish." But of course. What other kind is there?

Saturday, July 23, 2011

National Vanilla Ice Cream Day!!

Happy National Vanilla Ice Cream Day, everyone! Now, the thing to do with your vanilla ice cream is add chocolate syrup to it so that it becomes chocolate ice cream, of course. What else?

Oh hey, guess what else? I just got a severed head in my McDonald's meal! Sure, it was made out of plastic, but that doesn't decrease how creepy it is. Especially if it falls in a pile of ketchup. And this was supposed to be a reward for finishing my meal...? I don't want to belong to the clean plate club if people keep giving me severed body parts!

Random picture of the day:




Bemused manatee wishes he had vanilla ice cream to turn into an actual flavor worthy of a national holiday, such as chocolate. Bemused manatee is quickly becoming a disappointed manatee.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Random Roulette Wheel category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"I've never met such a savage pineapple before!" Oh, I see. Avoiding my tip to visit a wild and prickly fruit every day, huh? I see how it is!!

Person 1: "How many dying cows do you know?"
Person 2: "Forty." Oops, no, too late. Thirty-nine.

"And she just threw a hairy little fit!" Reeeeally. And how far away did it land?

"It's just like confetti, except made of ice and death!" Way more epic than boring old regular confetti!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Ay caramba! The computer is baaaack! And I can use the Interwebs!

Happy Ratcatcher's Day! If you see any rats, particularly of the Death Eater/Animagus variety, please feel free to catch them. Also, it's Penuche Day, but I don't know if that's a book, or a food, or a French curse word, or what, so I thought I'd stick with Ratcatcher's Day.

Random picture of the day:

And see, this way you can eat animals even if you're a vegetarian. Or stars, if you're a non-star-atarian. Or something.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Money is good for a good life foundation in case I explode and need surgery." I would say you have a good point, but if you're gonna explode, I think you have more problems than just needing surgery.

Person 1: [hiccups loudly]
Person 2: "How's it goin' there, Burpy Joe? ...Hiccup-y Joe?"
Person 1: "It was a hiccup! You're supposed to feel sorry for me! I could have died!" Mmmmm-hmm.

"Feel the wrath of my backscratcher!" No, really, laughing uncontrollably is how I show I'm terrified.

"Everyone knows that mold turns people into couches." Oh, indeed.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Fool's Paradise Day, and why my computer should not be aware of this

Hello, all! My apologies for the gaps and delays; apparently our computer has realized that today is Fool's Paradise Day, and thinks that since it is a fool, it should try to take a vacation and go to paradise, leaving the rest of us in the lurch. In simpler terms, for some reason it keeps making things blurry and giving those of us who attempt to read/write using the computer headaches, refusing to play DVDs and certain CD-ROMs (and, at times, refusing to acknowledge their existence), opening iTunes on people's accounts who don't even have a reason to open iTunes, as they don't have any music players that connect to the computer at all, and deleting my dad's account. (That went over well.) Needless to say (I should hope), we're getting it fixed. Unfortunately, that does mean that I shall, again, be off the grid for a few days. (Hopefully only a few).

Isn't it great how long technology lasts? This computer is...oh...two years old, at the most. :-P

But anyway...on the plus side, I figured out how to display WFTH in a simpler manner if, for some odd reason, anyone should like to access it on their smartphone! Or dumbphone, I suppose. Potentially even on their hopelesslystupidbeyondbeliefphone, although those aren't reaching the height of popularity...

Anyway, sorry for blips and bleeps and gaps and geese in between posts, and there shall apparently be one more. But never fear, this shall (hopefully) soon come to an end! See you then, and Happy Fool's Paradise Day! :D

Random picture of the day:



Maybe I should try this solution in the hard drive of my computer...I'm sure that'd work really well.


Anyway, today's Words are from the Random Roulette Wheel category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I wonder what it would be like to be a pumpkin." And here we see the broad, wide-reaching effects of philosophy class. And also why we are doomed if we are relying on our generation to fix things.

"I'll throw an apple at you; will that help?" *dramatic voice* Always.

"Oh, I die a lot. Just ask Emily." I will. I can't believe you would die so often without a proper license, signed in triplicate! *very offended*

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Sugar Cookie Day!

Happy National Sugar Cookie Day! To celebrate, I wished I had sugar cookies. Fervently. ...They did not spontaneously generate in front of the computer, sadly enough. However, brownies spontaneously generated in my stove. That's actually better. XD

Ooh, guess what else? I made a Sporcle quiz regarding random license plates that Harry Potter characters might have...I amuse myself. :) The link is http://www.sporcle.com/games/waffle_of_action/harry-potter-license-plates, if you're interested. If not, that's still the link; just don't go there. :D

Random picture of the day:


Compass owl wishes he had more directions than just north written on his face. And also that he had a face that actually belongs on an owl.

Compass owl is kind of an outcast at school.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D


Person 1: "What is your [actual house's] roof made out of? Besides the icing."
Person 2: "Kit-Kats. Well, we got Kit-Kats, and then we cut them into fourths, and put them on our roof." Yum.

"It's a very violent fountain. It cut itself off and that made all the fire fall down." Well, fire fountains are, in general, very violent to begin with.

Person 1: "If that stupid zombie gets under my butt one more time..."
Person 2: "That's not a zombie, it's a table." Yes, but the two are so very similar that they're hard to tell apart sometimes...I mean, the four legs, the wood grain, the flat surface...well, you know how it is. I hope you know how it is. Because I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

National Fried Chicken Day!

Hello, all! Happy National Fried Chicken Day, and I hope your 4th of July was exciting, whether it  was a celebration or just an ordinary day in July. Every day should be exciting. Mine are! For example, the other day I was just sitting at home reading a book...about a girl who wrote a musical called Totally Sweet Ninja Death Squad! If that isn't exciting, I don't know what is.

Random picture of the day:


Ah, yes. The rare Head-Turns-Into-A-Peanut disease. You might wanna get that looked at.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Rather Duh-Inspiring

"This is a pencil. It's gray." Worst. Show-and-tell. EVER.

Person 1: "Why is it a silver dime?"
Person 2: "Because dimes are silver!" Ohhhhhh, I thought quarters were silver. What was I thinking.

"What's that noise? It sounds like a dying llama!" Yup, we get a lot of dying llamas in our school.

"My foot is good at karate." My leg, however, is terrible. Which makes kicking someone in a karate-like manner somewhat impossible.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Rectangular Pupils...oOoOoOoOo creepy!

Ooh! Guess what I just found out? The pupil of an octopus' eye is rectangular! Isn't that simply fascinating?

Well, I thought so. I can't help it if you don't have the same fascination with all things random and weird that I do.

Ooh, speaking of random things, guess what I wrote my research paper on for my college-level class? Bunnies. No, I'm not even kidding you! It was called "Children's Books and Bunnies" or something like that, which my friend Amy suggested. And...I got a passing grade! So that's exciting! What could be better than writing a research paper on bunnies? Okay, yeah, I know. Having an actual bunny, for one thing. Well, you take what you can get.

Random picture of the day:

Well, that looks comfy.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Fairly Mean. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"We should stuff him in a hollow tree." And then watch him get made into cookies! Wouldn't that be ever so fun?

"Kyle was using Mr. Pen as a bazooka." As usual.

Person 1: "Plus, you don't even know how to drive--the first few weeks, bam! It's gonna blow up!"
Person 2: "That's real nice, son." Isn't it, though? I've sent several very kind cards communicating similar sentiments, inspired by this lovely statement.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

National Almond Buttercrunch Day!

Happy National Almond Buttercrunch Day! Hope it is just the right amount of butteriness and crunchiness, with a few tentacles thrown in, just to shake things up a bit. :)

Random picture of the day:


That...is pretty random. Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Random Roulette Wheel. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Brian Smith could use some foot powder. He takes his shoes off and it smells like someone was murdered. A month ago. And left in the day room." That does sound pleasant.

"Did you just say we'll take turns tasering?" Duh. What else can you do on vacation when sharks insist on hogging the swimming pool?

"Alright, quit dying over there." Or we'll leave you in the day room and rub you on Brian's shoes.

Person 1: "What're you doing?"
Person 2: "Taking myself hostage."
Person 1: "Good luck finding someone to pay that." I will! I mean, if it's less than a dollar or so. I've got my eye on some nice gummi worms, sour of course, and those clearly take priority.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Museum Comes To Life Day!

Happy Museum Comes To Life Day! It's like they made this holiday specifically to give me an excuse to watch Night At The Museum--I love this holiday!! :D

Random picture of the day:


A...random businessman standing in the middle of the ocean to file some papers? Hmm. Seems normal.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

Person 1: "I lost a zombie in battle yesterday."
Person 2: "I lost a zombie in the washing machine yesterday."
Person 3: "Reeeeeeeally."
Person 2: "Yup, he was in my pocket." Pocket-sized zombies: for your travelling convenience.

***

Person 1: [bats his eyelashes]
Person 2: "I think he's pretty cute when he does that."
Person 3: "I think he's pretty jank when he does that."
Person 2: "Well, I think he's pretty cute when he does that."
Person 3: "Well, you're entitled to your opinion, no matter how wrong it may be." What if he's being cutely jank? Or jankily cute? Hmmmm?

***

Person 1: "I brought the camera, since I know how narcissistic you are--"
Person 2: "I know! Are you filming me? I love me!" Point? Proven.

***

Person 1: "I do that at work; if one of the guys asks if I have change for a ten, I'm, like, 'Yeah, I have a five, a three, and a two.'"
Person 2: "And they're like, 'that's really funny, now do you have change'?"
Person 1: "And then I say no."
Person 2: "Just 'cause you got their hopes up and then you dash them."
Person 1: "What? I thought you said I stab them."
Person 3: "I thought that, too!"
Person 1: "I'm, like, that seems a little extreme just for asking for change. If they asked for food off my plate, sure, but..." Well of course. You've gotta ration your stabbings, ya know, you can't just stab everyone that comes by. As fun as that would be, you'd run out of ninja stars to throw, and then where would you be?

Thursday, June 23, 2011

National Pecan Sandies Day!

Hello, all! Happy National Pecan Sandies Day! Apparently this is a food. Make sure to spit out all the sand, though. That stuff gets between your teeth and stays there for days, man. Makes everything gritty. :P Also, spit out the pecans, because I've heard those are nasty. Never had one, myself, possibly due to the negative reviews I've received regarding their taste. And apparently, there are so many different ways to say the word 'pecans' that it causes great argumentation in the theatre community. No idea.

Random picture of the day:



Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! 

"You're sharpening them on your tongue?" But of course. Where else would one sharpen laser-tipped shark teeth?

Person 1: "I am one with the cornflakes."
Person 2: "Are you one with the cornflakes?"
Person 1: "I am one with the cornflakes." Good. Well, now that that's established, let us meditate whilst swimming in milk. Ohmmmmmmglubglubglub. Ohmmmmmmmmglubglubglub.

"[singing] I'm a loaf of bread, he's a loaf of bread, you're a loaf of bread, I'm a loaf of bread, he doesn't want to beeeeee breaaaaaaaaad, but he can't help it, 'cause he's a loaf of bread!"

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Cuckoo Warning Day!

Happy Cuckoo Warning Day! ...I have no idea how to interpret this. Ideas, anyone? Probably you have to, um, warn your cuckoo, the one in your clock I guess, or the nearest younger sibling, about multiple cuckoo-hazardous things...such as, um, cuckoo-eaters...? I give up.

Random picture of the day:



*singing and dancing* It's rainin' frogs! Hallelujah, it's rainin' frogs and other aquatic animals! Amen!
...I'm pretty sure this is a famous song, is it not? 

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "Look! A pig!"
Person 2: "That's Mr. Saturn."
Person 1: "Whatever." But really, what's the difference?

***

Person 1: "I don't want to go to math today."
Person 2: "Why? What's in math?"
Person 1: "The teacher." Insert rimshot here.

***

Person 1: "I got mad skills. About lettuce. Yeah."
Person 2: "I believe you." But why would you? It is well-known that supposed lettuce-skilled personages are usually extreme liars!!

***

Person 1: "Did you say I'm gonna eat hair?"
Person 2: "No, I said you're gonna eat air." Oh. Well, that makes me feel so much better about my life.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Ice Cream Soda Day!

Happy Ice Cream Soda Day! How delicious and ice-cream-y! Feel free to bathe in as many ice cream sodas as you like--indulge! It's Ice Cream Soda Day!

Random picture of the day:




Okay...

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Are you chased by a large dish?" Every day.

"My inside voice ran away." To Narnia. So everything's okay. Don't worry, I have several other voices inside my head to make up for my lack of inside voice.

"Mrs. Bargents, have you ever had a bad dream about Care Bears?" Really, any dream about Care Bears is a bad dream about Care Bears.

"We are the fighting lightbulbs!" Striking fear into the hearts of...one person? Two?

Saturday, June 18, 2011

International Panic Day!

Happy International Panic Day! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAokay, I'm over it now.

Random picture of the day:



Oh no, I have hippophobia, which, though it sounds like the fear of hippos, is actually the fear of horses! I think I must panic some more! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH...this is getting boring.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Your dad's name is Newt?" Um, yeah...why do you think my name's Newt, Jr.? Putting two and two together, are we?

"John, there's sunburn on your neck!" Here! Let me slap it for you!

Person 1: "Can I give myself a unibrow?"
Person 2: "Only if you have one." Because that makes sense.

"[singing] I love sweaters!" Thank you for sharing. I could not care...any less.

Friday, June 17, 2011

National Apple Strudel Day!

Happy National Apple Strudel Day and National Cherry Tart Day! Both of which are delicious, and both of which, I am proud to say, signed my autograph book when I met them at PastryWorld. It's kind of like Disneyland, only a lot more edible. You should really visit some time.

Random picture of the day:



Well, isn't that lovely. I assume.

Anyway, today's quotes are from the Fairly Mean category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"She sings like a cow having a seizure." To put it politely.

Teacher: "How about, 'I would ride the bike'?"
Class: [multiple failed attempts to translate into Spanish]
Teacher: "How about, 'You all will study'? Hopefully." Muchas gracias, mono zurdo respirando fuego.

"Hey, I'll help you kill her now, okay?" Sure thing. Two knives are better than one, I always say.

"You're gettin' the death stare right now. Do you feel the burn?" Yes, but I think it might have more to do with the fact that my fire-breathing monkey just sneezed on me.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

National Hollerin' Contest Day!

No, no, not hollering, hollerin'. For example: HOLLERHOLLERHOLLER!!!!! (I win!)

Random picture of the day:


Ah, yes. And here we see the elusive North American Fish Model in its native habitat. Rare, that is.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"[disappointed] Oh, so it's not the key to my heart, it's the key to Narnia." Um, what in that sentence gives you the right to be disappointed? That is exponentially better!!!

"Even my nose is tense!" That's intense. Like a fire at a circus. *insert rimshot here*

"I love it when they're senile." And I love being senile. It's a win-win.

"No! You look like alfalfa!" Noooo! Not alfalfa! My mortal enemy...so we meet again. I fight you and your horde of vegetables with: VEGEMITE POWER!!!! Begone! Be vanquished! Mwahahahaaha!!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Smile Power Day!

Happy Smile Power Day! To celebrate, I have written an ode to smile power, in the form of a haiku.

O, Smile Power.
Still not enough to earn me
Free chocolate ice cream.

*bows profusely* Thank you, thank you.

Random picture of the day:

For the life of me, I could not figure out what this was a picture of. Apparently, it's rocks (according to the original caption.) Still having a little trouble seeing the rocks in this picture, but whatevs.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Random Roulette Wheel category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"When we go tramping on the leen..." Oh what a joyful time to spleen, when we go tramping on the leen...I love this song!

"I thought you said it was better than your head, like, 'My iPod is cooler than my head.'" A reasonable assumption to make. After all, I keep my iPod in the freezer and my head in the sweltering heat of Arabia; why wouldn't my iPod be cooler than my head?

"Lauren might as well be a hieroglyphic." I mean, she's squiggly, Egyptian, and written on an ancient wall; what else does she need?

"I have some plague." Ummm, I'm pretty sure you can't quantify how much plague you have. You either have the plague or you don't. You don't have three pints of plague, or two and a half liters of plague!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Pop Goes The Weasel Day!

Why, it's Pop Goes The Weasel Day. How droll. How simply amusing. How weaselly. ...I'm really not sure what else to say about this holiday. Oh! Actually, guess what? Turns out, that song is from when people used to use spinning wheels! There was a part called the weasel, or something...okay, this story is rapidly losing interest. Just ignore me. Or Google it or something. :)

Random picture of the day:




Ooh, hovering trees and assorted clumps of dirt. How lovely. Just add spray cheese for a lovely appetizer. Serves 12.

Anyway, today's quotes are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"This is foof. We do not spray foof in the classroom." I do.

"You look like Mario without the mustache." Then what's the point?

"Who wants a frozen shoe?" Really, who doesn't want a frozen shoe?


"If you look closely at 'The Last Supper,' how many people ordered the shrimp cocktail?" Turns out, it's the same amount of people who ordered it if you look at it from far away, as well. Answer: not enough.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Kitchen Klutzes of America Day!

Happy National Juggling Day and Kitchen Klutzes of America Day! I think that in celebration, all Kitchen Klutzes of America must gather and begin juggling several sharp knifes, cheese graters, and pizza slicers! Best idea all day, right? Yep, I thought so too.

Random picture of the day:



Just put that anywhere.

Anyway, today's quotes are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Do you think it would hurt? Landing a bicycle on the wood floor?" Well, I'm sure the bicycle would be fine...the floor, however, would probably experience lacerations and heavy bleeding. It might even have a concussion. Which is never good--memory loss in your flooring. Well, you know how it is.

"We're gonna be conservative about being naked!" Well, that makes sense.

"People say 43% of want Democrats in Congress. 49% want Republicans. Where's the other 8%?" You are aware that there are other political parties, right? Independents, Narnians, the list goes on.

"Wouldn't it be weird if every girl had, like, one of those curly mustache things?" Nope. Not at all.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Send-it-in Sunday!

Happy Send-it-in Sunday, all! Feel free to post WFTH you may have heard in the comments! Also it's Machine Day, but that's boring.

Random picture of the day:



I'm sure she isn't concerned about the birds flying through her living room! Or the fire she's going to cause by burning a hole through her shirt with that iron! Or the fact that her feet have turned into fuzzy blue spheres that are slowly oozing through her carpet! But whatevs. I guess her phone conversation is just too fascinating for anything else to take much precedence.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I mean, what're you gonna say? 'Mario just came and knocked my drink over'?" Um, yeah! Isn't that how you normally greet people? Or have I been doing something wrong?

"Your nails have a nice sense of humor." Aw! My nails thank you hilariously.

"Time flies on wings of whatever." How simple, yet profound. How seemingly dumb, yet...no, wait, pretty sure it actually is dumb. Never mind.

"I have a preposition for you: OF!" Oh yeah? UNDER!