National Popcorn Day!

Hello, all! I hope your National Popcorn Day is going most marvelously. I did see a rather squample piece of popcorn on the floor today, so that felt pretty celebratory. Good times, good times.
Random picture of the day:

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I don't want to talk about fried foods in my pants, either." But really, who does?

"Underneath his tough exterior and flannel lumberjack shirt lies a heart of gold and also a third arm." Well. I appreciate this little tidbit of information that I never needed to know. 

"It's like taking the blinders off the horse of humanity." ...is it?

"Silly little flame-headed cherubs of death, that's not how you ride orcas." ...I'm not even gonna ask...

Hat Day--boooring.

Sadly, today is nothing more exciting than Hat Day. But, on the plus side, we can always look forward to tomorrow, which is National Nothing Day, as well as Hot and Spicy Food International Day, which I would assume the hot and spicy foods get annoyed at, as it seems to imply that they are nothing...ah, well. We must let the innermost feelings of wasabi and the hurting thereof pass us by, and not get bogged down by our own despair.

Oh! So this is exciting. Apparently, my Anatomy teacher had a dream about me, in which I was, apparently, the star of some big-time play. And also I was playing a fairy, and she was watching the play with her three-year-old son and I guess I gave him a shout-out and he about had a spaz. And so they went to visit me in my dressing room and I answered the door in my fairy-outfit tutu, and her son was so excited ("a real live fairy, Mom!") that he almost passed out. And also the fairy role involved real flying plus also I made meatloaf.

...I didn't say it made sense, I just said it was exciting.

Random picture of the day:

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy!

Person 1: "I thought we were physically gonna die."
Person 2: "As opposed to...?"
Person 1: "You're right. Well, it could have been a...a...spiritual death."
Person 2: " 'I just mentally pulled the trigger right there.' " I literally feel your pain. ...oh wait..

***

Person 1: "[insult] ...just kidding. You know I love you."
Person 2: "No. I didn't know that, actually."
Person 1: "Well I do. Surprise!" This does not make me any less insulted, if you're wondering...

***

Person 1: "You what I don't like? I don't like Pangaea."
Person 2: "Well, that's not here anymore. So that's okay." I CAN STILL HOLD A GRUDGE, CAN'T I?

***

Person 1: "Why didn't you ever tell us your little brother's adorable?"
Person 2: "Because he's not. He's annoying."
Person 1: "No, he's adorable! We saw him at the coffeehouse and he's like a little mini you! ...I want to put him in my knapsack."
Person 3: "Do you have a knapsack?"
Person 1: "No, but if I did..."
Person 3: "Note to self: never let you get a knapsack."
Person 1: "Hey, wanna go knapsack-shopping this weekend?" YES.

Happy Square Dance Day, y'alls! ...do what you will with that, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES actually square-dance. You may cut a square from a piece of paper or gelatin and make it dance, or interpret in other creative ways, however.

Random picture of the day:

That's...really nice...what?


ANYway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I'm majoring in Facebook stalking in college." You do that. On a completely unrelated note, I'm changing my name in college.

"Having one of those [monkey loofahs], when you're a child, is like having a friend in the bath! ...I was a lonely child, okay?" Clearly.

"I'm almost positive your fingers do not have schizophrenia." Oh, you don't know.

"Salad without Craisins...is like the integral of natural log without the constant of integration." So...confusing, and disgusting.

National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day!

Happy National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day! Why it has to be so very specific, we may never know. Also, gross! Let's try some real chocolate, shall we? Okay, I'm officially changing it to National Milk Chocolate Truffle Day. Much better. :D

Random picture of the day:

I...don't even know...

Anyway, today's Words are from the Fairly Mean category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I just found out Amy was a senior and it, like, ruined my life." I'm sure she's glad about it too.

"So he was talking about beating up my dead grandma." What a...lovely...pastime...I highly suggest you find him a new hobby. But that's just me.

Person 1: "Are you aware that you are hurting little kids' feelings? With my death?"
Person 2: "Why are you laughing? He died, Charlie!" Aaand you just answered your own question.

National Doughnut Day!

Remember, remember, the fifth of November...'cause it's National Doughnut Day, of course! Pretty excited about that...

Random picture of the day:

Oooooo. Snazzy.

Library story of the day: So you know the spine labels on most library books that have the first four letters of the author's last name? I've finally found one I approve of with James Bamford. Oh, and of course I love the label on Colonial Food--641 FISH. Yup, pretty self-explanatory there. Add some plants and you don't even need to read the book.

ANYway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"No children's plays. I don't want you reading, um, "The Bear and the Tortoise..." The bear eats the turtle. That's the moral of the story: Don't become friends with bears." That's...umm...a great moral...

"I feel like when you die, the sun will burn less brightly because everyone will be so depressed." I have to say, that's either the nicest insult or most morbid compliment I've ever been given.

"I mean, not everyone is Tina Fey every morning, and not everyone's a Viking every day..." Says you.

"I can lay on the piano if you need me to. Really suggestively." Um, no thanks, I'm good. No, really. I don't think I'll ever need that. Just sayin'.

Name Your Car Day!

Happy National Name Your Car Day! My friend wanted me to name my car Ariel's Execution Hedgehog...but I decided against it. Instead, I went with Idris. Same thing, though, really.

Random Picture of the Day:

Oh no! Not an attack of the poisonous leech-balloons! Run away, random office worker, run awaaaaaaay!!!!

Library Story of the Day: So I was shelving in the crafts section, and I don't really like shelving where patrons are trying to get books, because it's really awkward; you can't just shove the book on the shelf and get out of their way, no, you have to stare at the shelf for a while and move some books out if their spine labels are covered and whatnot, and it's awkward and it takes forever. So I was waiting for this one dude to get out of the quilting section--he was taking forever, going from shelf to shelf, seemingly methodically checking each individual book, taking some out, putting them back in...and then I remembered that he worked at the library. And was organizing the shelves.......whoops........

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

Person 1: "I am a metaphorical threshold....I am a metaphorical threshold....I am a metaphorical threshold...."
Person 2: "Aaaand the last scene, in which, I think, Nick was a threshold?"
Person 1: "No, I was a dead body!" Eh, same thing.

***

Person 1: "Ha! I shot you!"
Person 2: "No you didn't because I'm a Patronus! It went right through me! You shot the fridge!"
Person 1: "Technically, I shot the toaster."
Person 2: [singing] "Iiiiiii shot the toasteeeeeerrrr (but I did not shoot the microwave...)" Iiiiiiiii shot the toasteeeer...but I swear it was in self-defense...no, really, it was shooting overdone toast at me! Have you felt those things? They're like missiles!

Mulled Mud Day, sorta

Happy National Mulled Cider Day and National Mud Pack Day! I've no idea what a mud pack is, so I can only suggest a combination of the two, and that you enjoy a nice steaming mug of mulled mud. Delicious.

Library Book of the Day: Log Cabin Quilts With Attitude.

Oh no you did not just shake that pattern at me, young man! I am eight square feet bigger than you and not afraid of you and your backsass!

Random picture of the day:

How lovely. He's probably enjoying a nice cup of joe, and by joe I mean mulled mud.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Chickens don't give milk, they give orange juice!" Oh, is that how that works?

"I have a freckle on my tooth!" Oh yeah? Well I have a tooth on my freckle! Beat that, cowboy!

"They could, like, selectively select people." Or you could just redundantly be redundant. Either or.