Saturday, December 11, 2010


So, another weird fact about fish? Some of them are 95% water. Guess which kind? Hint: it's the kind that Pearl kills in The Scarlet Letter. Sorry, should've had a spoiler alert. Here, I'll put the answer in blue so it's hard to read unless you highlight it. :)


Speaking of fish (except not at all...), here is a cool picture I found on the Intertron!

Well, not cool, so much. More like...eternally creepy. The eyes were moving before, but...guess that's not happening now. Hmm. It's still creepy, though.

But anyway.

Today's WFTH are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Somebody's eating my pants! ...I bet it's a gremlin." Nah, everyone knows gremlins eat single socks more than anything else. I'm guessing...a rogue unicorn.

"I've decided that I'm immortal." Well. Not to be pretentious or anything.

"Aah, now the magma's showing." Aah.

"He's being a milk cake." Um. Okay.

"You were doing mouth-to-mouth with a globe?" I don't even want to know.

Friday, December 10, 2010


Guess what?

Know something weird? Fish. Can't. Blink. So...if anyone ever dares you, on a bet, to a staring contest with their pet fish named Farlo who looks deceptively like he might blink at any moment? Don't do it. You'll lose twenty bucks.

Not...that this has ever happened to me. Just some, ya know, helpful advice.

But anyway. Today's Words are from the Kinda Gross category! My comments are in italics--enjoy! :)

"And it takes 45 minutes to burp." That is a really freaking long burp. Lemme just say.

"Put some literary hair on your chest! ...Not that you'd want that, but." Hey! I want literary hair as much as the next person! ...Which is, ya know, not at all...

"Thanks for donating your butt." Anytime. Um, to what did I donate it, exactly?

"[supposedly propaganda] It's so important, he's barfing because it's so important!" Well I'm convinced.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Iiiit's Pastry Day!!

This is, like, dessert week, apparently. pastries were given or received by me. But that's okay, pastries aren't nearly as good as brownies. Hands down. Down so low they reach through the floor and dig into the dirt underneath the carpeting.

Speaking of...I hit my head on the concrete floor of our being-re-done living room once. This was before the carpeting. It was, really, the fault of my brother, my own stubbornness and non-understanding (especially at that age) of the laws of physics, and a very large cardboard box.

The memory is still painful...except...not at all...'s WFTH are from the Say What? category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I've always wanted a pink test." Clearly, your life has been very deprived.

"You need to wear, like, stronger skin." Good point. Don't worry, my next skin's gonna be made out of steel and rubber cement.

"Can I have my sharks back?" Only if you promise to keep them in your desk until the end of the day, and don't take them out at recess. Especially if they're land sharks. Those things are deadly, ya know!

Person 1: "The bunny stole the clothes!"
Person 2: "It's a magic bunny!" ...there is no way to comment on this one. Though I'm sure that won't stop some of you from trying.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Happy Brownie Day!

I would just like to say one gave me a brownie today.

But to be fair, I didn't give a brownie to anyone either.

Too bad. ;)

Anyway, today's Words are from the Fairly Mean category! My comments are in italics--Enjoy! :)

"I'm accidentally strangling her!" I'm accidentally punching you in the face!

"You fail with flying colors." You'd think the colors would be, like, dragging or something. Usually failing isn'

"I take them under my wing so they start to trust me and then I rip their little brains." Well at least you have a plan.

Person 1: "If one child gets rejected, what do you do?"
Person 2: "Sell him to the organ peddlers!"
Person 3: "[weird voice] My son has a very good liver *tsk* and he, he has very good kidneys, *tsk*, he was born with three, he's a freak, *tsk*, I'll sell him to you, the price of two, but you're gettin' three." I really, really hope this was a hypothetical situation...and that Person 3 never, ever has kids.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Hello, all!

How are ya? Good? Good. :) So guess what. I met a real. Live. Mitten Tree yesterday. Kind of. I mean, it was two people who were being mitten trees. So that's pretty much the same thing. Right?

Also I met a live snowman. He/she? seemed rather like a PG-13 Frosty-the-Snowman, as she informed me herself. "Happy frickin' birthday," she announced.

This was much less jolly than I expected.

Oh well.

But as it is no longer Mitten Tree Day, it is now a new day for the category of WFTH! Today's category is...(drumroll, please)...Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"I lit my hand on a good was crazy fun." I can see...why that would be fun...except not at all...

Person 1: "OMG! You just killed my heart!"
Person 2: "I can go get it..."
Person 1: "That's OK." Hmm. I thought it'd be more traumatic. Or at least more dramatic. Maybe that's just me.

"It's almost there, guys, it just has to be laser-laser-laser-laser." Good point. I quite agree.

"My name does not mean sunglasses!" It just means glasses of the sun. Completely different. What were you thinking.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Mitten Tree Day!

You will not believe this.

It's Mitten Tree Day!!! I can only assume this refers to trees that grow mittens! Can you imagine autumn in such an orchard? I mean, there'd be mittens everywhere!

(Like so, for example.)

So cool, right?

...Okay, I looked up mitten trees. Apparently they are just places to hang your mittens.

This is much less exciting.

But anyway, today's WFTH are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring Category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"This is not the size of spaghetti." Spaghetti has a size? Also, what are you measuring that needs to be spaghetti-sized?

"[completely seriously] Do ducks eat mice?" This actually made me stop and think for a minute before I realized--mice are, like, half the size of ducks. I'm pretty sure a duck would die if it ate a full-grown mouse. Especially since ducks are herbivores.

"You can't beat a goldfish!" Well if you really try...

"Are you saying negative one is not a number?" I might never ever not not not not not not not not not not not not be saying that. But you'll never know.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Bathtub Party Day

No comments on this one. Nope, none whatsoever.

Who has the time to sit around and think up all these really weird and random holidays??

No idea.

Oh well!

Speaking of weird and's WFTH are from the Say What? category! Oh, and today's a Send-It-In Sunday! So feel free to post any WFTH you might have heard in the comments! :)

My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"I'm not gonna eat fried frogs." Sautéed, sure, but fried? Never!

"He's not mad or a serial killer--he just has a chainsaw!" Well of course. We never assumed otherwise.

Person 1: "Could you really get stuck inside JELL-O, though?"
Person 2: "Yeah, you can, that's how you live forever." Huh. I would have thought cryogenics to be a wee bit more scientific than that, but you learn something new every day, I guess!

"Fat lady has sung. 45 years and counting." She's been singing the entire time?

Person 1: "It's a ghost eraser!"
Person 2: "Does it smell?"
Person 1: "No, it smells like candy!"
Person 2: "It's not gonna smell like a ghost!" You don't know! Ghosts often smell like candy! ...or not...