Saturday, March 26, 2011

Contest Winner!

The results of the contest are in, ladies and gentlemen! A special thank you to all my followers, new and old, and everyone who commented! Don't forget to keep checking back for new contests...I'm already gathering prize materials for the next one! :)

OK, drumroll please....The Graphing Calculator's Random-Integer Generator has spoken. The winner is......Andrew! You have five days to get back to me via comment! If you don't comment on this post before 8:00 p.m. EST on March 31st (2011 btw), I will pick a new winner! Congratulations, and thanks again to everyone who entered. You are all wonderful people! :D

Alrighty, Happy Make Your Own Holiday, everybody! ....Therefore, Happy Squid Appreciation Day! :)
Let me know what your holiday is in the comments! :) Today's Words (on this fine Squid Appreciation Day) are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"And it's sunrise for the people on my nose." Not to say that I'm concerned that there are people on your nose, but...I'm concerned that there are people on your nose.

"Hey, I'm beating myself up in the mirror." Which is weird, because in real life I'm standing completely still.

"So the moral of the story is don't fall into a black hole with a clock." I applaud this moral! I shall carry these words of wisdom in my heart daily. In fact, I was just about to do the very thing this warns against, until I heard this moral. Impeccable timing.

"I'm writing a haiku on your calculator. I hope you don't mind." Three seven minus nine/negative forty-eights times/zero is zero. Oh, the poetic genius is giving me chills. Chills, I tell you!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Happy Pecan Day!

I have never had a pecan, so I cannot truly say whether this should be a joyous holiday or not. You're gonna have to make that call for yourself.

Oh, quick reminder...the contest that you can find by clicking the book-and-candy photo at left is about to close, tomorrow at 8 p.m. EST! This is your last and final warning, as my post tomorrow will probably be after 8 p.m. and will announce the winner! Good luck to all and if you don't win this one, remember to keep checking back here at WFTH for more contests!
In the's Words are from the Random Roulette Wheel category (i.e. they could fall into any of the other categories!) My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"There's a man upstairs with a switch. When he turns it on, it rains." News to me. Wait--how far 'upstairs' are we talking? Because this is a one-story area of the building...

"'Cause the square says so." The square sees everything. It knows everything. The rapidly becoming a rectangle. Oh no! It is widely known that rectangles don't know diddly-squat.

"I saw you--in a non-creepy way." Is that even possible?

"My hands are avocados." A round of applause for the amazing avocado-handed person! No, no, don't clap your avocadoooossstoolate. Ah, well. Who's up for some guacamole?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Houdini Raisin Day!

...kind of. Today's Houdini's 137th birthday, along with Chocolate-Covered Raisin Day. Neither of which I have ever seen in real life, I don't think. Though Houdini was cool. Apparently (according to a graphic novel I read of his life, and who knows how accurate graphic novels are) he was about to do one of his daring escape tricks, involving jumping off a bridge into some river or other without anything except pocketless swim trunks, while being tied up and knotted up and chained up and all this random crap. You know how it is with magicians. Anyway, he was getting really worried, because he didn't want to jump off the bridge until he could kiss his wife goodbye (I mean, what if he didn't escape and he drowned, right?), but there were all these people watching. Finally, his wife shows up. She had to elbow her way through the crowd and get past the guards. Apparently there had already been three women wanting to get to Houdini up close, claiming they were his wife. She glares at the guard and pulls her marriage license out of her purse.

So, yeah, that worked. She went up to him and gave him the all-important kiss goodbye--all-important because she transferred the key to his chains into his mouth from hers when they kissed, thus enabling him (somehow) to free himself. Although I'm pretty sure that even if I had the key, I couldn't unchain myself while sinking rapidly underwater. Especially since I can't see underwater. But anyway. I thought that was pretty cool.

Plus also I know how he died. It wasn't in a daring escape attempt or anything...I read a picture book about Houdini once (hopefully more accurate than even the graphic novel) and apparently, he had a trick where he would allow anyone to punch him in the gut (first he would tighten his abdominal muscles and whatnot) and it wouldn't hurt him. So this one guy (I have no idea who) comes into Houdini's dressing room one night before the show and asks if he'll really bet anyone to punch him in the stomach, and Houdini says yeah (as I recall, he was lying on a couch) but doesn't get the chance to tighten up his muscles and prepare for the blow, as the guy just punches him right there where he's lying on the couch, as hard as he can, and leaves. So, as you can imagine, that hurt Houdini pretty bad, but you know, the show must go on (oh yeah, he had a performance that night). So he went on with the show, in spite of blazing abdominal pain...and then died of an appendix problem that resulted from that guy's punch in the gut. So that's real nice. Anyway, that was my non-intentional brain-vomit on Houdini. I know you care. :)

Anyway, today's (non-vanishing, non-chocolate-covered) Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Shakespeare's a nonexistent penguin, okay?" Pretty hard to argue with that one...

"They're heat-seeking potatoes." But of course. I mean--oh noes! Quick! Get in the fridge!

"Like maximum drooling. Like he'd probably be dead from drooling." That's pretty intense. X-TREME DROOLING. It's not a sport, it's a way of LIFE.

Person 1: "Run, Mitch!"
Person 2: "Run like the wind!"
Person 1: "Be like a flying...majestic...water-goose." As opposed to a fire-goose.

...I would actually really love to see a fire-goose.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Organize Your Home Office Day! ...whatever.

Hello! Please feel free to ignore today's holiday if you are in any way lazy  a procrastinator smart. :) Also, if you don't have a home office. Which, as far as I know, I don't. Unless maybe it's buried under all the books and whatnot in my bedroom. Hmm...must go excavate and explore this possibility. Will do when I have a free week or so. And a headlamp. And a tent. the meantime, today's Words are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I want to swallow razor blades. And that would be painful." Not if they were made of jelly! Although then they would be razor jellies. Or something.

Person 1: "Wow. Dude, you just ran into the door!"
Person 2: "I think he noticed, actually." It would actually be hilarious if he didn't, though.

"Well, violence isn't bad for your health!" I don't know what kind of violence you're talking about, but...

"Your throat's kinda like the pipes under your sink." to explain that a little further, by any chance?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

National Goof-Off Day!

Happy National Goof-Off Day! what you will with that. I have chosen to throw a party on top of the Eiffel Tower, complete with complimentary cheeseburgers. I am not quite sure how this connects, but it seems to fit the bill. I'd invite you, but...I'm having trouble with the cheeseburger part.
(See? This is what you'd be getting.)

(This is what you are actually getting. Notice the blank space. Sadness.)

But while you're waiting for the party to start (which may be a while), here are some Words from the category of Random Roulette Wheel! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Or is that gonna turn your brain to goo?" Whaddya mean 'turn'?

"So now you have two different eyebrows." This is probably a good sign.

"I always like pretending to be Wolverine with pencils." Yarr! I am Wolverine! I have good penmanship! Also, apparently I am a pirate! Yarr!

"It's, like, a big pile of fire!" Mm-hmm. We call those infernos, dear.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Fragrance Day!

Hello, all! Happy Fragrance Day! Enjoy the fragrance of spring, which started yesterday. Or, perhaps, enjoy the fragrance of a good book, as some are wont to do. Or, perhaps even less fragrant, the nice scent of a computer screen, (mm, gigabytes), with these Words From The Hallway. :D Today's Words are in the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"I'm building the President." Mm-hmm. You do that.

"It's been so long since I've had to abduct a chair from someone." In fact, I almost forgot to use the usual alien-abduction methods. And I completely forgot to return it with its memory wiped! Oh noes!

"Her new name is going to be Jamonkey." Jamonkeyjamonkeyjamonkey.

"I'll just wake up and be, like, 'Don't wash the badger!'" An admirable slogan.

"[fake British accent] Whoa! Whoa! What is up with this [actual person's] finger? It's like it was drawn by a bad kindergartener!" ...I was going to say I'll take that as a compliment, before realizing there is no possible way for that to be a compliment. ...though it is funny. And (faux-)British.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Guess what?

It's the first day of spring!! Happy first day of spring, everybody! Or, I guess, everybody north of the equator. Everyone else, happy first day of fall!

Ooh, know what else it is? Quilting Day.

You know you care.

As something to read while you create quilts about spring, here are today's Words From The Hallway, from the Conversations category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

Person 1: "Okay, guys. Annexation. Who wants it?"
Person 2: "My face! Wait, sorry." No apologies needed. My face doth desire that which is annexation, also. I think.


Person 1: "What's your accidental there?"
Person 2: "D-flat."
Person 1: "Dizzle Fizzle--check it out!" Or, you know, D-flat works just as well too. And doesn't sound like some strange kind of candy.


Person 1: "And they're attaching giant jellyfish."
Person 2: [cracks up] "We were gonna be jellyfish this year!" ...that is funny. I suppose.


Person 1: "That's kind of a morbid problem."
Person 2: "Takes one to know one." Okay, that doesn't even make any sense.