Old Maid's Day! ...what?

Happy Old Maid's Day! This must be referring to the card game. I think. If not...I'm at a loss for definitions...

Random picture of the day:

How marvelously...buildingish.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Random Roulette Wheel category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"You look like that cheer coach guy! You look like Buddha!" I never knew that Buddha was a cheer coach. You learn something new every day!

"If you get arrested, I'll give you extra credit!" Somehow, not enough incentive.

"This is my sarcastic sarcasm face." This is my apathetic I-don't-care face.

"Hey! The clock looks like a turkey!" Oh, yeah, I had to sell the clock and replace it with a turkey yesterday for...personal reasons. I was hoping you wouldn't notice...

Egg Day. Wow, that's boring.

Happy Egg Day. Um, snore. Let's see what else it is. It better be something good. Okay, Repeat Day. Well, that's boring too. Well, that's boring too. Heh. Well, how about Happy Last Friday Of The School Year? Ooh, doesn't that sound good.

Random picture of the day:

Aw, how...bicyclish. Metallic, if you will.

...anyway, today's Words are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Slava, will you sign my baby?" ...I'd like to know how this comes up as a topic of conversation in school. Between two guys...but I'm sure there's nothing to worry about...

"[yearbook inscription] Insert terrifying believable threat here." Aw. I'm touched. Really.

"It just bothers me how intelligent that serial killer is." No, he only seems intelligent. Actually, he failed all his classes for eating too many Cheerios, Froot Loops, etc. instead of taking notes...oh...wrong kind of cereal?

"If I keep dressing like a hobo, I'll become one." An admirable aspiration. Although I'm not sure that's how it works, exactly...you just keep on chugging, though.

National Rocky Road Day!

Happy National Rocky Road Day!! I thought, at first, that this referred to the ice cream flavor. I was, however mistaken; apparently it refers to an exceedingly bumpy road, filled with stones and hurling insults at you. However, it is, happily, placed in conjunction with the Sidewalk Of Good Fortune, or something along those lines...I can't quite remember what it's called, but it compliments you as you walk upon its face. So the two balance each other out quite nicely.

...these are the things one comes up with when one is faced with a supposedly=capped-at-two-hours-but-really-taking-a-lot-longer-while-also-making-your-butt-go-numb-from-sitting-on-the-bleachers-too-long assembly. :)


Random picture of the day:

...I've really no idea.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "Can we frolic? After the exam? In a meadow?"
Person 2: "Yeah, it's B.Y.O.M.O."
Person 1: "Bring your own meadow?"
Person 2: "Yeah."
Person 3: "Okay, everyone bring in one blad of grass...what constitutes a meadow?"
Person 2: "More than twelve blades of grass. So if someone brings in two..." Then things'll be spiffy.

***

Person 1: "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
Person 2: "Shh! You can't say that in school?" Um, hello? Just did.

***

Person 1: "London is a hilly place."
Person 2: "Like Ohio!"
Person 1: "Only much more..."
Person 2: "Much more British." Weird...wonder why that is?

***

Person 1: "Go see shows at the Globe in London; it's actually really cheap, only five pounds."
Person 2: "Five pounds of money?"
Person 3: "Yeah, pay in pennies."
Person 2: "Pay in pennies because they weigh much more than dollar bills. I tried to pay five pounds in dollar bills. It took a while." And here I thought their money was called pounds.

***

Person 1: "We pulled a head out of a bucket of blood. And it was dripping."
Person 2: "Yeah, that did not look real at all."
Person 3: "It's the thought that counts!" And in this case, I think I'd prefer you...not to think of it. Maybe think of...flowers, or something, next time. Just putting that idea out there. I mean, blood-drenched heads are...always nice. If you're a cannibal in love. Or something similar. But whatever floats your boat bucket of blood.

Happy Donut Day!

Happy Donut Day to all, and to all a happy donut day. I am superbly pleased that I can actually say I had a doughnut this morning. ...what is the difference between donut and doughnut? Is doughnut more correct/fancier? If I say donut instead of doughnut do I sound less educated? Ooh, now this is going to bug me....speaking of bugs, and donuts (this is, like, the best segue ever for this story), contemplating the difference between spelling variations in pastries reminds me of when we had pet mealworms in third grade, and on Donuts For Dads Day, we were showing off our mealworms, and Taylor's apparently literate and knowledgable-of-the-event mealworms moved themselves into the forms of D-O-N-U-T, which was quite amusing.

...all my mealworms ever did was die. Not that I'm bitter. Or anything. I had two in my little plastic container, and then one died, and Evan gave me one of his, and then my original second mealworm (or perhaps the new one; who can really tell them apart? maybe mealworm mamas...) died. And then whatever stupid worm I had left kicked the bucket. They were dropping like flies mealworms, I tell you! It was redonkulous! But, on the plus side, it prepared me for my brother's pet caterpillar. Which pooped little green pellets all over the inside of my old bead jar. I did not ask for it back. That was a fun experience.

But anyway...

Random picture of the day:

Lovely and leafy. I can honestly say that those are the best leaves I've seen hovering in midair all day.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Fairly Mean category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"No, that's disrespectful! You shouldn't shoot a guy with a dirty gun!" Using windshield wiper or soap derived from the grease upon the about-to-be-shot-guy's head is much more respectful.

"You can't kick a puppy! That's illegal! You can only do that on Saturdays!" Or on a blue moon, or on the second Thursday of the fourth month of the third year in a spectaculunar cycle. I think. Unless it's a month beginning with R, in which...I think you need a new calendar.

"I'm pretty sure that if you died at sea today, they'd put you in a refrigerator and bring you home." What a relief. Wait--I forgot about my crushing refrigeratoraphobia!!! Nooooooo!

Person 1: "She's hacking my leg off!"
Person 2: "No, I'm just massaging your leg--with my sword." Oh, well, that makes everything better.

National Macaroon Day!

I'm not sure if this is referring to the country or the cookie. Or perhaps the dance, as someone at school suggested. And here I thought that was called the Macarena. Silly me. Oh, and yesterday was My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day, and the day before was End Of The Middle Ages Day! I would have simply posted these personally, but I was caught up in the festivities. For example, castles were crumbling around me as medieval jousting knights suddenly evaporated...you know how it is.

Random picture of the day:

How marvelously artistic.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"And all the sixth-graders were like...burnt potatoes or something." I've always said that about sixth-graders.

"No, I play the electric triangle, no joke! I'm in a band called Stool Fish, and Devin Sorenson is in the band and he's a backup dancer, and he shoots fudge out of his armpits." That's...really nice. In an armpitty kind of way.

"Nature's clothing is te best." Ah. Poison ivy. Always in style.

"Knees of the future, Marley!" Truer words have never been spoken. I assume. ...I'm not really sure what this means. But it's the best slogan regarding knees that I've heard all day. No, wait, disregard that; I heard a better one in homeroom.

National Hamburger Day!

So guess what. Not only is it National Hamburger Month, but it's also National Hamburger Day! That's, like hamburger to the second power! Hamburger squared, if you will. So that's exciting...

Random Picture Of The Day:

Interesting...

Anyway, today's Words are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"I think I need some blood in my caffeine system." Maybe it'll mental your help capacities.

"I can make a copy of you, 'cause I have one of your hairs on the bottom of my shoe!" Yup. That's exactly how that works. You got it.

"Yes--I know what a tree is: It's a living object that cannot be planted around a synthesizer." Oh. See, when you said you knew what a tree was, I thought that meant that you actually, um, knew what a tree was. Silly me.

Teacher: "What does 'disjunct' mean?"
Half the class: "Not junct?" ...fail.

WFTH Official Contest!

Happy I-Haven't-Been-On-The-Computer-Because-My-Internet-Got-Brokened Day! :) Oh, hey, guess what else? The next Words From The Hallway contest is.....officially open!! So, here's what you could win:

That's not a photo of the actual shirt, by the way. I just made that on my computer; when you win, you get to pick what color and size you'd prefer, then I'll send it along to you! The front of the shirt displays the message "Words From The Hallway" and the back has one of three WFTH (you get to choose out of this list): "You can't swing a dead cat without getting a picture of her picking her nose!" or "Fall is my favorite season because there are pumpkins. Which are like orange, squishy babies." or "I will smash the giant squids of anger with my giant hammer of justice!! Yaaay!"

That's first prize; second prize will get assorted truffles, along with a Footnotes magnetic pad of paper with a patriotic pencil, pictured below:

And third prize will get a random candy bar!
That's a lot of prizes. So, how can you win? Well, I'll tell you. (I can just hear your sigh of relief.)

You can earn multiple entries in this contest:

~one entry for commenting on this post
~one entry for becoming a follower (or, if you are already a follower, you earn one automatic entry)

(Those two you have to do to enter the contest, so I can find you to let you know you won, and so I can know you actually wanted to enter the contest. :D)

You can also earn bonus entries to increase your chances in the random drawing:

~one entry for each time you post a link to Words From The Hallway on facebook (take a screen shot and include that or a link to your post in your comment)
~one entry for encouraging someone else to become a follower (they must comment here that you recommended they join for you to earn this entry)
~one entry for posting your favorite type of cephalopod (e.g. giant squid, Kraken) in a comment to this post :D

Edit: Due to commenting issues that are now resolved, the deadline is now 7:00 p.m. EST on June 8th!

Good luck!

And now, on to the regular post of the day (because this isn't long enough as it is...sorry for my loquaciousness. Kudos to you if you know what that means. :)

Random Picture Of The Day:

How lovely. I do love a nice elephant in the morning. Afternoon. Whatever. It's almost as refreshing as a nice cup of coffee. Which I have never had. So I'm completely making this up. :D

Aaaanyway. Today's Words are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy!

"Why is this bear, like, riding on unicorns and stuff?" Really, why wouldn't he be? If you were a bear, wouldn't unicorns be your preferred method of transportation? And would you like people making fun of you for it? Huh? Huh?

"Therefore, I would rather have a possessed goldfish than a free-from-demons silver fish." But of course.

"It is sad, but it's more dramatic than sad. It's like watching a hair go down the drain." Because watching hairs go down the drain is the epitome of drama. People actually line up for days in advance for new premieres of such events. Me, I don't line up days before. But not because I don't care--I've got connections. I can always get front-row seats to Drains, And Hairs Going Down Them.

"She's like an orange--sweet until you start to take off the peel, then she turns into an onion." Well, that makes sense. Mixed metaphor, anybody?