Want a Hawaiian Punch?

Turns out, that question is deceptively not about beverages!! Don't say yes! ('cause that'll be interpreted as 'yes, I want to be punched.') Maybe if I watched TV I'd have known about that ad...
Anyway, today's Punch Day (hence the sage advice (if I do say so myself)), which could be interpreted in many ways. But, here ya are! :)

Today's Words From The Hallway are in the Say What? category. My comments = italics! Enjoy! :)


"How many tuba players does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh, look! Something shiny! How many trombone players does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just let it slide. How many baritone players does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish!" I get all of them except the first one...and the last one...and actually the middle one. But the rest make sense.

Person 1: "If I was this tall, my pants wouldn't drag on the ground."
Person 2: "Yeah, but then you wouldn't have any feet." I'm pretty sure they meant an overall shortening, but, ya know, whatevs floats your boat.

"I would totally eat that Ferrari!" ...Me too!...waaait...

"I don't care what he does, as long as he's not getting arrested." Always a good attitude to have.

"She's chemically altered my crayons! And my hopes and dreams..." Again?