Museum Comes To Life Day!

Happy Museum Comes To Life Day! It's like they made this holiday specifically to give me an excuse to watch Night At The Museum--I love this holiday!! :D

Random picture of the day:

A...random businessman standing in the middle of the ocean to file some papers? Hmm. Seems normal.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

Person 1: "I lost a zombie in battle yesterday."
Person 2: "I lost a zombie in the washing machine yesterday."
Person 3: "Reeeeeeeally."
Person 2: "Yup, he was in my pocket." Pocket-sized zombies: for your travelling convenience.

***

Person 1: [bats his eyelashes]
Person 2: "I think he's pretty cute when he does that."
Person 3: "I think he's pretty jank when he does that."
Person 2: "Well, I think he's pretty cute when he does that."
Person 3: "Well, you're entitled to your opinion, no matter how wrong it may be." What if he's being cutely jank? Or jankily cute? Hmmmm?

***

Person 1: "I brought the camera, since I know how narcissistic you are--"
Person 2: "I know! Are you filming me? I love me!" Point? Proven.

***

Person 1: "I do that at work; if one of the guys asks if I have change for a ten, I'm, like, 'Yeah, I have a five, a three, and a two.'"
Person 2: "And they're like, 'that's really funny, now do you have change'?"
Person 1: "And then I say no."
Person 2: "Just 'cause you got their hopes up and then you dash them."
Person 1: "What? I thought you said I stab them."
Person 3: "I thought that, too!"
Person 1: "I'm, like, that seems a little extreme just for asking for change. If they asked for food off my plate, sure, but..." Well of course. You've gotta ration your stabbings, ya know, you can't just stab everyone that comes by. As fun as that would be, you'd run out of ninja stars to throw, and then where would you be?

National Pecan Sandies Day!

Hello, all! Happy National Pecan Sandies Day! Apparently this is a food. Make sure to spit out all the sand, though. That stuff gets between your teeth and stays there for days, man. Makes everything gritty. :P Also, spit out the pecans, because I've heard those are nasty. Never had one, myself, possibly due to the negative reviews I've received regarding their taste. And apparently, there are so many different ways to say the word 'pecans' that it causes great argumentation in the theatre community. No idea.

Random picture of the day:

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! 

"You're sharpening them on your tongue?" But of course. Where else would one sharpen laser-tipped shark teeth?

Person 1: "I am one with the cornflakes."
Person 2: "Are you one with the cornflakes?"

Person 1: "I am one with the cornflakes." Good. Well, now that that's established, let us meditate whilst swimming in milk. Ohmmmmmmglubglubglub. Ohmmmmmmmmglubglubglub.

"[singing] I'm a loaf of bread, he's a loaf of bread, you're a loaf of bread, I'm a loaf of bread, he doesn't want to beeeeee breaaaaaaaaad, but he can't help it, 'cause he's a loaf of bread!"

Cuckoo Warning Day!

Happy Cuckoo Warning Day! ...I have no idea how to interpret this. Ideas, anyone? Probably you have to, um, warn your cuckoo, the one in your clock I guess, or the nearest younger sibling, about multiple cuckoo-hazardous things...such as, um, cuckoo-eaters...? I give up.

Random picture of the day:

*singing and dancing* It's rainin' frogs! Hallelujah, it's rainin' frogs and other aquatic animals! Amen!

...I'm pretty sure this is a famous song, is it not? 

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "Look! A pig!"
Person 2: "That's Mr. Saturn."
Person 1: "Whatever." But really, what's the difference?

***

Person 1: "I don't want to go to math today."
Person 2: "Why? What's in math?"
Person 1: "The teacher." Insert rimshot here.

***

Person 1: "I got mad skills. About lettuce. Yeah."
Person 2: "I believe you." But why would you? It is well-known that supposed lettuce-skilled personages are usually extreme liars!!

***

Person 1: "Did you say I'm gonna eat hair?"
Person 2: "No, I said you're gonna eat air." Oh. Well, that makes me feel so much better about my life.

Ice Cream Soda Day!

Happy Ice Cream Soda Day! How delicious and ice-cream-y! Feel free to bathe in as many ice cream sodas as you like--indulge! It's Ice Cream Soda Day!

Random picture of the day:

Okay...

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Are you chased by a large dish?" Every day.

"My inside voice ran away." To Narnia. So everything's okay. Don't worry, I have several other voices inside my head to make up for my lack of inside voice.

"Mrs. Bargents, have you ever had a bad dream about Care Bears?" Really, any dream about Care Bears is a bad dream about Care Bears.

"We are the fighting lightbulbs!" Striking fear into the hearts of...one person? Two?

International Panic Day!

Happy International Panic Day! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAokay, I'm over it now.

Random picture of the day:

Oh no, I have hippophobia, which, though it sounds like the fear of hippos, is actually the fear of horses! I think I must panic some more! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH...this is getting boring.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Your dad's name is Newt?" Um, yeah...why do you think my name's Newt, Jr.? Putting two and two together, are we?

"John, there's sunburn on your neck!" Here! Let me slap it for you!

Person 1: "Can I give myself a unibrow?"
Person 2: "Only if you have one." Because that makes sense.

"[singing] I love sweaters!" Thank you for sharing. I could not care...any less.

National Apple Strudel Day!

Happy National Apple Strudel Day and National Cherry Tart Day! Both of which are delicious, and both of which, I am proud to say, signed my autograph book when I met them at PastryWorld. It's kind of like Disneyland, only a lot more edible. You should really visit some time.

Random picture of the day:

Well, isn't that lovely. I assume.

Anyway, today's quotes are from the Fairly Mean category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"She sings like a cow having a seizure." To put it politely.

Teacher: "How about, 'I would ride the bike'?"

Class: [multiple failed attempts to translate into Spanish]

Teacher: "How about, 'You all will study'? Hopefully." Muchas gracias, mono zurdo respirando fuego.

"Hey, I'll help you kill her now, okay?" Sure thing. Two knives are better than one, I always say.

"You're gettin' the death stare right now. Do you feel the burn?" Yes, but I think it might have more to do with the fact that my fire-breathing monkey just sneezed on me.

National Hollerin' Contest Day!

No, no, not hollering, hollerin'. For example: HOLLERHOLLERHOLLER!!!!! (I win!)

Random picture of the day:

Ah, yes. And here we see the elusive North American Fish Model in its native habitat. Rare, that is.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"[disappointed] Oh, so it's not the key to my heart, it's the key to Narnia." Um, what in that sentence gives you the right to be disappointed? That is exponentially better!!!

"Even my nose is tense!" That's intense. Like a fire at a circus. *insert rimshot here*

"I love it when they're senile." And I love being senile. It's a win-win.

"No! You look like alfalfa!" Noooo! Not alfalfa! My mortal enemy...so we meet again. I fight you and your horde of vegetables with: VEGEMITE POWER!!!! Begone! Be vanquished! Mwahahahaaha!!!