National Puzzle Day!

In the spirit of National Puzzle Day, I will now post the answer to a lifelong puzzle that many people have devoted their lives to solving:

"Which came first: The chicken or the egg?"

Duh. Dino eggs! Puzzle solved.

[insert Staples button here] "That was easy."

Now, if you can tell me the answer to the puzzle "Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?" ...that's different. A for the day if you know! :D

Today's WFTH are from the Random Roulette Wheel category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Sometimes there's a brain stem over here..." And isn't that nice.

"Guess I'll go ahead and play my book flute." Yyyeah. You do that.

"Earthquakes are your friends." Pretty mean friends...but I guess they grew up watching Mean Girls, so you really can't blame them.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't care." I'm sorry. I just wasn't sorry.

"Greenland! We didn't do Greenland! Poor little guy." The last time I checked, Greenland was neither 'little' nor a 'guy'...but whatevs.

National Kazoo Day!

It's National Kazoo Day!!

(I love that there is a picture of this online.)

Okay, breaking news. I just found out that I have been kazooing backwards for all my life!!! (The reason I know this is partly because of this picture but also because I informed my friends that it was National Kazoo Day today at lunch and one of them immediately pulled out a small kazoo that she apparently keeps on hand at all times and started playing a song from A Very Potter Sequel, among other songs. (So cool, right? I must now put an emergency kazoo in my backpack, for just such an occasion. Be prepared, and all that jazz.) And apparently, you play a kazoo with the smaller, not the larger, end in your mouth.

I know. I am shocked too! I have been using the wrong end of the kazoo for my entire kazooing career! (Which, let's face it, is pretty important.)

Sigh.

Well, there's nothing wrong with being unique. Just like everybody else.

...anyway...Today's WFTH are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"You can't just ask someone what world they live in! Take it back!" Sorr-ree.

"I'm gonna get a reward for putting a shark on somebody's head." Um. How nice for you. ...what did you do with the shark afterwards?

"And all of a sudden, you're related to George Washington!" Really? Weird! And here I thought being related to someone was, um, a longtime event...not all of a sudden...but clearly I was mistaken...

Person 1: "I know they're dating!"
Person 2: "We are not! We are not even close to dating!"
Person 1: "I saw him get down on one knee and propose to [Person 2]!"
Person 2: "Why am I always the last person to hear about these things?" ...that is a very good question.

Hola, hola!

Happy Mad Tea Party Day and Thomas Crapper Day! (Quite a combination, no?)

Appropriately enough, today's WFTH are from the Kinda Gross category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"Why are you wiping your nose on your heart?" And, um, how?

"I feel my brain! I can feel my brain now!" ...that probably shouldn't be a goal...

"How do you hurt yourself by blowing your nose?" Verrry carefully.

"I'm glad I could make someone's day with my toilet exploding." And it wasn't me.

Hiya!

Happy Australia Day! ...do with that what you will.

Guess what? The good thing is that the little smiling buckeye on top of my desk has been knocked over, so he can't watch every move I make at the computer. The bad news? There is now a stalking goldfish keeping an eye on me. And fish don't blink.

I will have to comfort myself with the knowledge that it is about half an inch tall and made of some kind of yarn or something, and I could probably step on it if worse came to worst (or whatever that phrase is...) Nevertheless, I will still probably be having nightmares tonight, because it is extraordinarily and deceptively CUTE! Therefore, it cannot be trusted!!!

...people keep saying I'm paranoid. But if you saw a picture of this fish, you would definitely agree. It screams "Hug me!" but the subtext is "Or else!"

I'm sure you know what I mean.

Anyway...today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics. Enjoy! :D

"If you don't dare to dream, you don't...dream to dare..." How utterly inspiring.

"I hit my nose on the ground!" I'd sympathize, really, I would, but I'm too busy laughing. My apologies.

"Well, somebody's gotta brainwash 'em." Good point. Too much effort, though...we must delegate!

"My name is J.D. and I have luscious earlobes." Thank you for sharing, but please. Did you really think I didn't notice?

Bubble Wrap Day!

Bubble Wrap Day. Hmmm...almost as good as pie day...have you ever simply run over a sheet of bubble wrap, repeatedly, with a scooter? So much fun!

...Anyway. Today's Words are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"He had to stop mid-sermon; people were fainting and falling. Later people said they felt like they were falling, especially the ones that were fainting." Derrrr.

"I always forget that I love her but when I remember, I'm, like, 'Quinn, I love you!'" Oookey-dokey, then.

"In years past, the bar was lowered. This one, the bar was highered." Um, most people just say 'raised,' but, ya know, whatevs...this was an English teacher, by the way...

"We used to have a hamster named Sammy, and he died, like, five times. And we kept getting new hamsters and naming them Sammy so I thought hamsters lived for, like, seven years." That would actually be really freaky--zombie hamsters? In your house? They will totally eat your brains...one nibble at a time. The good news is, they're easy to escape from because you can just put a bowl over them and sit on it. I'm assuming.

Whoa. National Pie Day.

This is so exciting. This week is, like, filled with dessert-holidays, man! What is the best kind of pie? I'm torn between chocolate pie:

and apple pie:

(But they must be homemade, of course.) :D

Mmmm...pie...

Well, anyway...today's Words From The Hallway are from the Random Roulette Wheel category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Can I talk to my favorite chair?" I dunno, can you?

"She's about ready to crown you president or something." Ummm, pretty sure presidents don't get crowns. But, flattering nonetheless.

"He's concave!" Gee. How exciting. What is he, a spoon?

"[completely seriously] Can we fill that space with teen-angst-y nonverbals?" Um, er, agh, oof, I don't think so. Nope! Sorry (ungh), not happening.