National Hamburger Day!

So guess what. Not only is it National Hamburger Month, but it's also National Hamburger Day! That's, like hamburger to the second power! Hamburger squared, if you will. So that's exciting...

Random Picture Of The Day:

Interesting...

Anyway, today's Words are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"I think I need some blood in my caffeine system." Maybe it'll mental your help capacities.

"I can make a copy of you, 'cause I have one of your hairs on the bottom of my shoe!" Yup. That's exactly how that works. You got it.

"Yes--I know what a tree is: It's a living object that cannot be planted around a synthesizer." Oh. See, when you said you knew what a tree was, I thought that meant that you actually, um, knew what a tree was. Silly me.

Teacher: "What does 'disjunct' mean?"
Half the class: "Not junct?" ...fail.

WFTH Official Contest!

Happy I-Haven't-Been-On-The-Computer-Because-My-Internet-Got-Brokened Day! :) Oh, hey, guess what else? The next Words From The Hallway contest is.....officially open!! So, here's what you could win:

That's not a photo of the actual shirt, by the way. I just made that on my computer; when you win, you get to pick what color and size you'd prefer, then I'll send it along to you! The front of the shirt displays the message "Words From The Hallway" and the back has one of three WFTH (you get to choose out of this list): "You can't swing a dead cat without getting a picture of her picking her nose!" or "Fall is my favorite season because there are pumpkins. Which are like orange, squishy babies." or "I will smash the giant squids of anger with my giant hammer of justice!! Yaaay!"

That's first prize; second prize will get assorted truffles, along with a Footnotes magnetic pad of paper with a patriotic pencil, pictured below:

And third prize will get a random candy bar!
That's a lot of prizes. So, how can you win? Well, I'll tell you. (I can just hear your sigh of relief.)

You can earn multiple entries in this contest:

~one entry for commenting on this post
~one entry for becoming a follower (or, if you are already a follower, you earn one automatic entry)

(Those two you have to do to enter the contest, so I can find you to let you know you won, and so I can know you actually wanted to enter the contest. :D)

You can also earn bonus entries to increase your chances in the random drawing:

~one entry for each time you post a link to Words From The Hallway on facebook (take a screen shot and include that or a link to your post in your comment)
~one entry for encouraging someone else to become a follower (they must comment here that you recommended they join for you to earn this entry)
~one entry for posting your favorite type of cephalopod (e.g. giant squid, Kraken) in a comment to this post :D

Edit: Due to commenting issues that are now resolved, the deadline is now 7:00 p.m. EST on June 8th!

Good luck!

And now, on to the regular post of the day (because this isn't long enough as it is...sorry for my loquaciousness. Kudos to you if you know what that means. :)

Random Picture Of The Day:

How lovely. I do love a nice elephant in the morning. Afternoon. Whatever. It's almost as refreshing as a nice cup of coffee. Which I have never had. So I'm completely making this up. :D

Aaaanyway. Today's Words are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy!

"Why is this bear, like, riding on unicorns and stuff?" Really, why wouldn't he be? If you were a bear, wouldn't unicorns be your preferred method of transportation? And would you like people making fun of you for it? Huh? Huh?

"Therefore, I would rather have a possessed goldfish than a free-from-demons silver fish." But of course.

"It is sad, but it's more dramatic than sad. It's like watching a hair go down the drain." Because watching hairs go down the drain is the epitome of drama. People actually line up for days in advance for new premieres of such events. Me, I don't line up days before. But not because I don't care--I've got connections. I can always get front-row seats to Drains, And Hairs Going Down Them.

"She's like an orange--sweet until you start to take off the peel, then she turns into an onion." Well, that makes sense. Mixed metaphor, anybody?

National Escargot Day!

Ew. I mean, Happy National Who-Even-Eats-These-Supposedly-Edible-Snails Day! Yep, uh huh. Please, feel free not to celebrate this one. I'm sittin' it out, too. :-P

Random picture of the day:

...I don't even know.
Anyway, today's Words are from the Fairly Mean category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Mrs. Smithjones is a freakish little garden gnome!" I mean that in the nicest way possible.

"No! I'm trying to slice your head off! Hold still!" Oh, okay.

Person 1: "Um, I tried to fire one of my cast members. Several times. But she wouldn't go away."
Person 2: "Yes, but you try to fire Kate no matter what we're doing." Ah. What a tradition.

"You're cheating on J.B. with a brick wall?" Why, yes...how did you know? Was it the way I have brick marks all over my hand, or the longing looks sent askance at said wall? Because, really, you're completely making it up, if those are your only pieces of evidence...those and the purple lipstick marks on the wall. But those could've been made by anyone. Just 'cause it matches mine...I'd better stop talking.

Penny Day!

Happy Penny Day, all! Hope it is filled with copper disks raining from the sky in a thoroughly lucrative and/or non-painful way.

Random picture of the day:

A yelling, cannibalistic hot dog. But of course. Who gets these pictures, anyway? Someone should probably fire 'em--oh, wait, it's me. Never mind!

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"We got muffin heads..." I've always felt disembodied muffins were the best kind of muffins. The decapitation just adds something that no other ingredient does. I love it.

"Geese are, like, zombies." ...in what way?

"You sounded like a saxophone! The good kind." Then there's the bad kind of saxophone--walkin' on the wild side of the brass street.

"She is the sailor of the dressing room!" ...uh huh...

Send-it-in-Sunday!

Happy Send-it-in-Sunday, everyone! Feel free to comment with any WFTH you may have heard, even if you're reading this post after today! :) Also, Happy Buy An Instrument Day and National Vanilla Pudding Day! Make sure that your tuba is filled with vanilla pudding before purchase, otherwise you might not be getting your money's worth, if ya know what I mean. ...I sure don't.

Random picture of the day:

Because that's not creepy at all.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Rather Duh-Inspiring category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Does this green look like green, or does it look like blue-green?" Are those our only choices? 'Cuz I was thinking kind of a chartrusey-fuchsia-lavender.

Person 1: "Ha! I just beat Kevin at a Wikipedia race!"
Person 2: "No! He's a cheater!"
Person 1: "How am I a cheater?"
Person 2: "Because you cheated!" ...your logic is staggering.

"I'm asking you to do the same thing except exactly opposite." Ah. Now I understand.

Person 1: "Are those...pudding balloons?"
Person 2: "...what the heck is a pudding balloon?"
Person 1: "Balloons filled with pudding."
Person 3: "Of course." Oh. Glad we cleared that up.