Old Maid's Day! ...what?

Happy Old Maid's Day! This must be referring to the card game. I think. If not...I'm at a loss for definitions...

Random picture of the day:

How marvelously...buildingish.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Random Roulette Wheel category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"You look like that cheer coach guy! You look like Buddha!" I never knew that Buddha was a cheer coach. You learn something new every day!

"If you get arrested, I'll give you extra credit!" Somehow, not enough incentive.

"This is my sarcastic sarcasm face." This is my apathetic I-don't-care face.

"Hey! The clock looks like a turkey!" Oh, yeah, I had to sell the clock and replace it with a turkey yesterday for...personal reasons. I was hoping you wouldn't notice...

Egg Day. Wow, that's boring.

Happy Egg Day. Um, snore. Let's see what else it is. It better be something good. Okay, Repeat Day. Well, that's boring too. Well, that's boring too. Heh. Well, how about Happy Last Friday Of The School Year? Ooh, doesn't that sound good.

Random picture of the day:

Aw, how...bicyclish. Metallic, if you will.

...anyway, today's Words are from the Say What? category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"Slava, will you sign my baby?" ...I'd like to know how this comes up as a topic of conversation in school. Between two guys...but I'm sure there's nothing to worry about...

"[yearbook inscription] Insert terrifying believable threat here." Aw. I'm touched. Really.

"It just bothers me how intelligent that serial killer is." No, he only seems intelligent. Actually, he failed all his classes for eating too many Cheerios, Froot Loops, etc. instead of taking notes...oh...wrong kind of cereal?

"If I keep dressing like a hobo, I'll become one." An admirable aspiration. Although I'm not sure that's how it works, exactly...you just keep on chugging, though.

National Rocky Road Day!

Happy National Rocky Road Day!! I thought, at first, that this referred to the ice cream flavor. I was, however mistaken; apparently it refers to an exceedingly bumpy road, filled with stones and hurling insults at you. However, it is, happily, placed in conjunction with the Sidewalk Of Good Fortune, or something along those lines...I can't quite remember what it's called, but it compliments you as you walk upon its face. So the two balance each other out quite nicely.

...these are the things one comes up with when one is faced with a supposedly=capped-at-two-hours-but-really-taking-a-lot-longer-while-also-making-your-butt-go-numb-from-sitting-on-the-bleachers-too-long assembly. :)


Random picture of the day:

...I've really no idea.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

Person 1: "Can we frolic? After the exam? In a meadow?"
Person 2: "Yeah, it's B.Y.O.M.O."
Person 1: "Bring your own meadow?"
Person 2: "Yeah."
Person 3: "Okay, everyone bring in one blad of grass...what constitutes a meadow?"
Person 2: "More than twelve blades of grass. So if someone brings in two..." Then things'll be spiffy.

***

Person 1: "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
Person 2: "Shh! You can't say that in school?" Um, hello? Just did.

***

Person 1: "London is a hilly place."
Person 2: "Like Ohio!"
Person 1: "Only much more..."
Person 2: "Much more British." Weird...wonder why that is?

***

Person 1: "Go see shows at the Globe in London; it's actually really cheap, only five pounds."
Person 2: "Five pounds of money?"
Person 3: "Yeah, pay in pennies."
Person 2: "Pay in pennies because they weigh much more than dollar bills. I tried to pay five pounds in dollar bills. It took a while." And here I thought their money was called pounds.

***

Person 1: "We pulled a head out of a bucket of blood. And it was dripping."
Person 2: "Yeah, that did not look real at all."
Person 3: "It's the thought that counts!" And in this case, I think I'd prefer you...not to think of it. Maybe think of...flowers, or something, next time. Just putting that idea out there. I mean, blood-drenched heads are...always nice. If you're a cannibal in love. Or something similar. But whatever floats your boat bucket of blood.

Happy Donut Day!

Happy Donut Day to all, and to all a happy donut day. I am superbly pleased that I can actually say I had a doughnut this morning. ...what is the difference between donut and doughnut? Is doughnut more correct/fancier? If I say donut instead of doughnut do I sound less educated? Ooh, now this is going to bug me....speaking of bugs, and donuts (this is, like, the best segue ever for this story), contemplating the difference between spelling variations in pastries reminds me of when we had pet mealworms in third grade, and on Donuts For Dads Day, we were showing off our mealworms, and Taylor's apparently literate and knowledgable-of-the-event mealworms moved themselves into the forms of D-O-N-U-T, which was quite amusing.

...all my mealworms ever did was die. Not that I'm bitter. Or anything. I had two in my little plastic container, and then one died, and Evan gave me one of his, and then my original second mealworm (or perhaps the new one; who can really tell them apart? maybe mealworm mamas...) died. And then whatever stupid worm I had left kicked the bucket. They were dropping like flies mealworms, I tell you! It was redonkulous! But, on the plus side, it prepared me for my brother's pet caterpillar. Which pooped little green pellets all over the inside of my old bead jar. I did not ask for it back. That was a fun experience.

But anyway...

Random picture of the day:

Lovely and leafy. I can honestly say that those are the best leaves I've seen hovering in midair all day.

Anyway, today's Words are from the Fairly Mean category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :)

"No, that's disrespectful! You shouldn't shoot a guy with a dirty gun!" Using windshield wiper or soap derived from the grease upon the about-to-be-shot-guy's head is much more respectful.

"You can't kick a puppy! That's illegal! You can only do that on Saturdays!" Or on a blue moon, or on the second Thursday of the fourth month of the third year in a spectaculunar cycle. I think. Unless it's a month beginning with R, in which...I think you need a new calendar.

"I'm pretty sure that if you died at sea today, they'd put you in a refrigerator and bring you home." What a relief. Wait--I forgot about my crushing refrigeratoraphobia!!! Nooooooo!

Person 1: "She's hacking my leg off!"
Person 2: "No, I'm just massaging your leg--with my sword." Oh, well, that makes everything better.

National Macaroon Day!

I'm not sure if this is referring to the country or the cookie. Or perhaps the dance, as someone at school suggested. And here I thought that was called the Macarena. Silly me. Oh, and yesterday was My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day, and the day before was End Of The Middle Ages Day! I would have simply posted these personally, but I was caught up in the festivities. For example, castles were crumbling around me as medieval jousting knights suddenly evaporated...you know how it is.

Random picture of the day:

How marvelously artistic.

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"And all the sixth-graders were like...burnt potatoes or something." I've always said that about sixth-graders.

"No, I play the electric triangle, no joke! I'm in a band called Stool Fish, and Devin Sorenson is in the band and he's a backup dancer, and he shoots fudge out of his armpits." That's...really nice. In an armpitty kind of way.

"Nature's clothing is te best." Ah. Poison ivy. Always in style.

"Knees of the future, Marley!" Truer words have never been spoken. I assume. ...I'm not really sure what this means. But it's the best slogan regarding knees that I've heard all day. No, wait, disregard that; I heard a better one in homeroom.