Oh hey there...

I have a fun guessing game and it goes like this, are you ready? *ahem* Guess whoooo consistently is inconsistent about posting on WFTH yet has still been collecting and editing into one cohesive volume (in between, like, school and five jobs (recently dropped to four for sanity reasons) and has just gotten feedback from a few beta readers and has been editing like mad and and and...will (theoretically) be publishing the best of the best WFTH in an ebook-type way? (hint: it's me) SOOOO yeah. 

Secondary guessing game: who is REALLY REALLY good at run-on sentences? (ALSO ME; W00T.)

yeah. just, y'know, fyi. 

...to keep you reading (which, of course, due to lack of updates, no one IS), I was scribbling down vaguely amusing commentary while some freshmen and I were watching The Hunger Games...enjoy or don't enjoy, I don't run your life.



Onscreen Stuff Will Be In Bold while their/our commentary will be in, like, regular.

Katniss: hallucinating three Peetas telling her to run
Freshman dude: "There's three gorgeous men running at me, why would I run?"

***

Hunger Games commentator: "Ooh, tracker jackers. Oh, those things are very lethal."
Other HG commentator: "They can cause pain, hallucinations, and, in extreme cases, death."
Freshman 1: "Wait, I thought they were very lethal, not everyone dies?"
Freshman 2: "Well, there's levels of it. Like these are only like Level-7 Lethal."

***

Rue: [spoiler alert] dying
Freshman 1: "Quick, you gotta end on a joke."
Me: "What?"
Freshman 1: "Quick, quick, make a pun, end good."
Freshman 2: "You'll rue the day!"
Freshman 1: "Hahahaha!"
Rue: "Did you blow up the food?"
Freshman 1: "There you go! Wait, that's not really a joke. That's more of a question."
Rue: "You have to win."
Freshman 1: "That's not funny either."

***

Katniss: cries over Rue's death
Freshman 2: "I've known you for...three days!"
Me: "No, she reminds her of her sister and stuff."
Freshman 1: "Her sister's black?"
Me: "Yeah, didn't you notice?"

***

Katniss: finds Peeta camouflaged/disguised as a stone
Freshman 1: "Peeta, you rock!"
Me: "...no."
Freshman 2: "Peeta, you're grounded!"
Me: "Stop."

Eat Your Vegetables Day...why?

Happy...or Indignant...Eat Your Vegetables Day! Mostly I'm indignant because I refuse to be told what to do by some arbitrary celebration. But, you know, feel how you will about the holiday. I think it is also Watergate Day, but that's boring.

Random Picture of the Day:

So anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category! My comments are in italics! Enjoy!


Person 1: "So I seem to have Corwin written onstage twice..."
Person 2: "Corwin! Mitosis! Let's go!" Or you could just pick one spot...

***

Person 1: "It's Naked Tuesday!"
Person 2: "Well, I thought that was what he said! I wasn't sure if it was some custom I was unfamiliar with, or..." So let's file that under Things You Don't Wanna Hear At Rehearsal, or Possibly Ever

***

Person 1: "I'm gonna name my son Lawn Mower. Guess what he's gonna do?"
Person 2: "Wash the dishes?"
Person 1: "Walk the dog."
Person 3: "You're gonna have to wait a while for that joke to be funny, though. I mean, it's gonna be, like, twelve years before he's old enough to cut the grass."
Person 4: "No, no, but you can get those Tinker Toddler Toys, like a little plastic mower."
Person 3: "Start him young?"
Person 2: "See, that's why I'm adopting. 'Cause I'd feel guilty doing that to my own kids." And this is why some people shouldn't be parents.

Smile Power Day! How exciting!

Hello, ladies and germs! Happy Smile Power Day! I do not know what that means!

Random Picture of the Day:

Anyway, today's WFTH are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy!

"Well last time I juggled fiery lions I got a paper cut, so I've moved on to other things." Probably for the best.

"I wish my nonexistent mustache did that." I...do too? Not really sure how I feel on this subject.

"Since when do penguins sit in bathroom stalls?" If you have to ask...

"Does anyone have any chloroform on them?" Only somewhat worrying to hear during rehearsal...

WFTH ebook soon, and also National Juggling Day!

Hello, all! I know you are all anxiously awaiting for what's kept me offline for so long--the WFTH ebook! So, my apologies for the delay, and stay tuned for more news on that front! :) Very psyched about this...so anyway. Guess what? It's both National Juggling Day and Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day...which doesn't seem like they should go together..."here, let's juggle some sharp kitchen knives!" ...but anyway.

Random Picture of the Day:

Today's Words come from the Conversations category! My comments, as always, are in italics! Enjoy!

Person 1: "In which Roesch is a movie star."
Person 2: "And Slava is a director."
Person 1: "Apparently. I think I'm the person who brings the stars snacks in the hopes of touching one of their arms by accident."
Person 2: "No, you must hold yourself to higher standards than that."
Person 1: "Sorry--I bring drinks too, did I mention?"
Person 2: "OK, then you should be fine." Mmm, yes, high standards indeed.

***

Person 1: "So you're gonna go to bed soon, right? And be quiet as a bunny?"
Person 2: ["munches" loudly]
Person 1: "No no no. Quiet as a dead bunny. Just lay there and decompose." And, you know, sweet  (and decomposing) dreams!

***

Person 1: [demonstrating how a scene from Romeo and Juliet should move] "And then here, and then here, and aunngh!" ["stabs" self]
Person 2: "...because that's how you drink a vial. By shoving it at your chest."
Person 1: "Uh, yeah. It's called death by osmosis, Jackie, haven't you heard of it?" Riiight. With all that Shakespearean-era foward-thinking technology like osmosis. Clearly you're keeping it consistent.

National Popcorn Day!

Hello, all! I hope your National Popcorn Day is going most marvelously. I did see a rather squample piece of popcorn on the floor today, so that felt pretty celebratory. Good times, good times.
Random picture of the day:

Anyway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I don't want to talk about fried foods in my pants, either." But really, who does?

"Underneath his tough exterior and flannel lumberjack shirt lies a heart of gold and also a third arm." Well. I appreciate this little tidbit of information that I never needed to know. 

"It's like taking the blinders off the horse of humanity." ...is it?

"Silly little flame-headed cherubs of death, that's not how you ride orcas." ...I'm not even gonna ask...

Hat Day--boooring.

Sadly, today is nothing more exciting than Hat Day. But, on the plus side, we can always look forward to tomorrow, which is National Nothing Day, as well as Hot and Spicy Food International Day, which I would assume the hot and spicy foods get annoyed at, as it seems to imply that they are nothing...ah, well. We must let the innermost feelings of wasabi and the hurting thereof pass us by, and not get bogged down by our own despair.

Oh! So this is exciting. Apparently, my Anatomy teacher had a dream about me, in which I was, apparently, the star of some big-time play. And also I was playing a fairy, and she was watching the play with her three-year-old son and I guess I gave him a shout-out and he about had a spaz. And so they went to visit me in my dressing room and I answered the door in my fairy-outfit tutu, and her son was so excited ("a real live fairy, Mom!") that he almost passed out. And also the fairy role involved real flying plus also I made meatloaf.

...I didn't say it made sense, I just said it was exciting.

Random picture of the day:

Anyway, today's Words are from the Conversations category. My comments are in italics! Enjoy!

Person 1: "I thought we were physically gonna die."
Person 2: "As opposed to...?"
Person 1: "You're right. Well, it could have been a...a...spiritual death."
Person 2: " 'I just mentally pulled the trigger right there.' " I literally feel your pain. ...oh wait..

***

Person 1: "[insult] ...just kidding. You know I love you."
Person 2: "No. I didn't know that, actually."
Person 1: "Well I do. Surprise!" This does not make me any less insulted, if you're wondering...

***

Person 1: "You what I don't like? I don't like Pangaea."
Person 2: "Well, that's not here anymore. So that's okay." I CAN STILL HOLD A GRUDGE, CAN'T I?

***

Person 1: "Why didn't you ever tell us your little brother's adorable?"
Person 2: "Because he's not. He's annoying."
Person 1: "No, he's adorable! We saw him at the coffeehouse and he's like a little mini you! ...I want to put him in my knapsack."
Person 3: "Do you have a knapsack?"
Person 1: "No, but if I did..."
Person 3: "Note to self: never let you get a knapsack."
Person 1: "Hey, wanna go knapsack-shopping this weekend?" YES.

Happy Square Dance Day, y'alls! ...do what you will with that, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES actually square-dance. You may cut a square from a piece of paper or gelatin and make it dance, or interpret in other creative ways, however.

Random picture of the day:

That's...really nice...what?


ANYway, today's Words are from the category of Say What? My comments are in italics! Enjoy! :D

"I'm majoring in Facebook stalking in college." You do that. On a completely unrelated note, I'm changing my name in college.

"Having one of those [monkey loofahs], when you're a child, is like having a friend in the bath! ...I was a lonely child, okay?" Clearly.

"I'm almost positive your fingers do not have schizophrenia." Oh, you don't know.

"Salad without Craisins...is like the integral of natural log without the constant of integration." So...confusing, and disgusting.